We have a black president....and i'm alive!

The title of this post is what I said to my sister last night after Barack Obama was elected. This is something I never thought I would live to see. Since I cast my vote yesterday, I have been feeling emotions that I didn't know existed.

When I walked into the voting booth around 6:20 yesterday morning, I felt like I was casting a vote for my father, who was a bit on the militant side. He would have been over the moon. I took his spirit into the voting booth with me. I thought of my grandparents, especially my grandfather who could barely read but was one of the most successful businessmen in his city. Those men meant a lot to me and this election would have meant a lot to them. I know they both have unremovable smiles on their faces just like I do.

I was watching CNN and, out of nowhere, they projected Obama to be the winner. I thought I was seeing things. It all happened so fast. About ten seconds later, my son opened the window and people were celebrating in the street. It was like New Year's Eve. I tried to call family members and friends, but the circuits were jammed. It was a crazy, wonderful moment.

The tears fell, my body shook, I did a dance, said a prayer, praised the Lord, smiled, laughed, paced; I didn't know what to do with myself. I was a ball of energy. It's a feeling I will always remember, that undeniable sense of pride that made black people take to the street and celebrate. The sense of purpose that made a young man I saw being interviewed on the local news turn his hat around before he spoke to the reporter.

I don't know what time I went to bed, but I do know that I had one of the most peaceful sleeps i've had in a long time. I didn't even dream; I guess my dream had already come true. I woke up with a big smile on my face.

Tears fall as I think of all this man had to endure. I respect him to no end because of the never waivering dignity he showed in the face of undignified attacks. I look at Barack Obama and I see his heart. I feel him. There's no doubt in my mind that he cares. I listen to him speak and I see Dr. King in the shadows smiling. Maybe he can rest just a little bit easier now. The foundation he laid is finally taking shape. He gave his life so that we could, possibly, come to this moment one day and here we are.

Seeing that beautiful, black family walk out together, hand in hand is something I will never forget. The image of the first family i've thought of for years was before me and it felt like a dream. Years ago I would have thought it was a fairy tale. Once upon a time, on a cold winter day, a black man had the audacity of hope and decided to run for President of the United States...

Our next President did something most people are not able to do. He united Americans and inspired them to work together toward one common goal. As he spoke, I looked out into the crowd and it was so wonderful to see all nationalities rejoicing. Yes, Barack Obama is a black man, but he is also every man. He inspires all people, and not only those who live in America and that is such a beautiful thing.

Even though we know change takes time, we can all hold our heads up a little bit higher. Our children, and our children's children, have an example of what we can do. We are a strong people. As we were leaving for work this morning, my neighbor told me that Barack Obama is not our savior. I told him I knew that, but he is a symbol. Like Chris Rock said in his last stand up, we no longer have to give our children the you can be anything you want to be speech. All they have to do is look at the family residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and they'll know.

It's Time!

One day left before we make that change. I'm so excited. It's time! I've been singing that song by the Winans all morning. We are the people who can do it. I've heard people complaining about the lines they'll have to wait on tomorrow. Call me crazy, but i'm excited about it all. Usually when I go to vote i'm in and out quickly. If i'm standing on line that means people are coming out to vote. That's a good thing.












HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY COMPLAIN ABOUT STANDING ON LINE?

I wish my father and grandparents were here to see this. They would all be ecstatic. I know they're all smiling at the thought of a black man being president of these United States.

Win or lose, Barack Obama has touched and changed so many lives. My son won't be 18 until December and he is upset that he can't vote. I went to the corner store the other day and some young men were talking about how happy they were to be voting for the first time. They were very informed on the issues. I was impressed and congratulated them. It was a wonderful thing to see.

I've always tried to make informed decisions when I voted, but this is the first time that I cannot stay away from news channels, needing to know what's going on with the election. I am all in.

It's time to make a change. We are the people who can do it. This is the most important election of our time. November 4th is the day. Be there or be square.

The Winans - It's Time
Uploaded by jamz_flava

Make it Happen

I was at my desk listening to music while I worked and one of my favorite songs came on, "Make it Happen, by Mariah Carey." I absolutely love this song. It's so uplifting.

These are the lyrics:

Not more than three short years ago
I was abandoned and alone
Without a penny to my name
So very young and so afraid
No proper shoes upon my feet
Sometimes I couldn't even eat
I often cried myself to sleep
But still I had to keep on going
Never knowing if I could take it
If I would make it through the night
I held on to my faith
I struggled and I prayed
And now I've found my way

Chorus:
If you believe in yourself enough
And know what you want
You're gonna make it happen
Make it happen
And if you get down on your
knees at night
And pray to the Lord
He's gonna make it happen
Make it happen

I know life can be so tough
And you feel like giving up
But you must be strong
Baby just hold on
You'll never find the answers
if you throw your life away
I used to feel the way you do
Still I have to keep on going
Never knowing if I could take it
If I would make it through the night
I held on to my faith
I struggled and I prayed
And now I've finally found my way

I once was lost
But now I'm found
I got my feet on solid ground
Thank you Lord
If you believe within your soul
Just hold on tight
And don't let go
You can make it
Make it happen

Every time I hear this song it makes me feel good. I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I have my own relationship with God. I don't go to church the way I should, but I have faith and know that prayer has gotten me through some tough times. I'm still a work in progress. As Steve Harvey would say, "Don't trip, he ain't through with me yet."

I've struggled through some things, but never lost faith. I know that I play a role in how things work out. My decisions haven't always been the best, but you learn from your mistakes. My life is a lot better now. I'm happier than i've been in a long time. I just finished my novel and that has done a lot for my self confidence. I'm looking forward to what life has in store for me. I have a feeling it's going to be good. I'm just a strong black woman living day to day, trying to Make it happen.

Mariah Carey - New Music - More Music Videos

Random Monday

I'm in a random mood today. One minute I feel good, the next I feel like crap. This isn't the greatest day for me. I want to go home and crawl into bed, but I have things to do.

I'm on some random stuff today.

I use to like red apples better than green ones, but i've changed my mind.

I wish I could work a four day weekend.

One of my favorite people in the world is in the hospital. I'm really worried about him.

Korto should have been the winner of Project Runway.

My son's a man. He's going to be 18 in 42 days.

I could really use a shot of tequila.

Mama, I want to write.

I almost called in sick this morning.

Michelle Obama is fly as hell.

I need a vacation!

It's 4:25 pm.

Tiramisu is my favorite dessert.

I don't watch BET.

November 4th, November 4th, November 4th...

I absolutely love Gladys Knight.

I'm black and i'm proud!

Barack Obama could be elected President of the United States in a week.

Got any random thoughts?

Say It Loud!

I'm feeling good about being me today.





I love my people! Imagine what we could do if we really made it do what it do.




It's time we realize how blessed we truly are.

I did it!

Last night at 11:41 pm, I accomplished something I have been dreaming of most of my life. I finished my first novel. The feeling of accomplishment is something I cannot explain. I'm so excited!

I've known I wanted to be a writer since I was in the sixth grade. It's in my blood. I have boxes and boxes of things that I have written that no one has read. It's always been private. As I approached 40 I became determined to realize my goal. I knew I was ready, so I sat down and started putting paper to pen. The ideas flowed easily, like they always do and my baby was born.

After I wrote the last word on the page, I was filled with so many positive emotions that I cannot put it into words. I've spent a lot of my life doubting myself and not thinking I was good enough. Usually, I cry tears of joy when something good happens in my life. This time, I was so happy that I didn't feel like crying. I felt like celebrating.

I fell to my knees and thanked the Lord for blessing me with the talent and creativity that allowed me to even think about writing a book. I asked for the strength to do the work that will be required to see my baby all the way through to publishing.

I'll admit i'm a little scared, but i'm ready. It's time for me to share my work with the world.

Daddy's Little Girl

Born March 3, 1968
Daddy said, her name is Tamika
But i'll call her Bugalou
Years go by
Daddy leaves
But his love is still present
Bugalou knows he'll always be there for her
He calls
I'm coming to get you
She's so excited
Daddy's coming
She sits
And waits
And waits
But daddy never shows
Or calls
Days pass
He apologizes
She forgives
He's her daddy
And she loves him
But he loves the bottle
It's the monkey
Attached to his back
Years go by
He's there when he can be
When the monkey allows
The quality of his time is so immense
That the quantity matters less
Bugalou loves him
She's daddy's little girl
Sixteen and pregnant
A disappointment to many
But not to daddy
He still makes her feel special
And says, "The decision is yours."
Grandchild is born
Little Bugalou
He loves her just as much
And she adores him
Daddy now has two girls
Bugalou is now a mommy
Always calling daddy for advice
He's such a good listener
The best advice giver
And friend
And daddy
He's there when he can be
When the monkey allows
He disappears
Reappears
Does his best
Gets rid of the monkey
For a little while
He is himself
Monkeyless
Daddy
But alas
The monkey comes back
They fight for years
And eventually
The monkey wins
And takes his life
Daddy's gone
Bugalou feels alone
She misses her daddy
She talks to him
But it's not the same
He doesn't answer back
He's in a better place they say
It's no comfort
Years go by
It gets easier
She talks to him
And hears his voice
"Don't take no wooden nickels."
She learns to find strength
In his memory
Lives her life to make him proud
Thinks of him daily
Feels enveloped in his love
And even though she still cries
Because she misses him so
She knows he's looking down on her
And willing her through life's challenges
Bugalou misses him
But it's okay
Because no matter what life throws her way
He instilled within her
The strength to survive
And she will always be
Daddy's little girl.

I LOVE YOU DADDY!

What is stress?

I was going to blog about the debate, but changed my mind. I think it speaks for itself. I'm just trying to prepare of November 4th. I'll keep it short and sweet.

There are times when I wonder what's going through Barack Obama's mind. I can't imagine the stress and strain and pressure. I give the man props. I wouldn't want to be in his position, but I give him the utmost respect for trying to make it do what it do.




Good luck brother!

Strange Fruit

A friend of mine mentioned this song to me this morning and I couldn't get it out of my head. Nina Simone's haunting voice, coupled with the lyrics, always makes me cry.

Strange Fruit

Seven trees
Bearin strange fruit
Blood on the leaves
And blood at the roots
Black bodies
Swinging in the southern breeze
Strange fruit hangin
From the poplar trees
Pastoral scene
Of the gallant south
Them big bulging eyes
And the twisted mouth
Scent of magnolia
Clean and fresh
Then the sudden smell
Of burnin flesh
Here is a fruit
For the crows to pluck
For the rain to gather
For the wind to suck
For the sun to rot
For the leaves to drop
Here is
Strange and bitter crop

As singed by billie holiday

Southern trees bear strange fruit,
Blood on the leaves and blood at the root,
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze,
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees.

Pastoral scene of the gallant south,
The bulging eyes and the twisted mouth,
Scent of magnolias, sweet and fresh,
Then the sudden smell of burning flesh.

Here is fruit for the crows to pluck,
For the rain to gather, for the wind to suck,
For the sun to rot, for the trees to drop,
Here is a strange and bitter cry.

A Woman's Job?

My husband and I attend a couples group every Monday. Even though we've been together for a while, it has actually helped our relationship. You can never stop learning about the person you're with because you are both constantly changing. It's nice to converse with other couples and meet new people.

Yesterday was our fourth time going to this group and I have noticed a pattern. All of the women in the group complain that their husbands don't help them around the house. Not one of the women in the group is a stay at home mom. These are all women who have jobs and careers. One woman even leaves home earlier than she has to in the morning to take her husband to work. She also picks him up at the end of the day.

I am the lone wolf in the group. I believe that if we both work it is OUR responsibility to keep our house in order. Who says it a woman's job to maintain a household that she shares with her husband? If I bring home some of the bacon, shouldn't he fry it up in the pan sometimes too? How is he "helping" her if they live together and are raising the same children? Why is it the woman's responsibility to cook and clean? Do they not eat the same food and sleep in the same bed?

Now, I have done a little soul searching and I know that part of the reason I am so adamant about shared responsibility is, over the years, I watched my mother cater to men who didn't deserve her. They took advantage of her warm nature and, for lack of a better word, used her. If they tried it now, there's no telling what weapon she might use to end their life. I'll put it this way, being taken advantage of has not warmed her heart to the men of the world. It makes me sad.

Watching this, I vowed never to let a man take advantage of me. I met my husband when I was 15 years old and always kept this in mind. I would do things for him, but never wait on him hand and foot. It took me years to realize I may have gone too far. He once told me that I didn't do the little things for him that other women did for their man. When we went to parties, I would never fix his plate. In my mind I knew he had two hands just like me and could make his own damned plate.

I was so busy making sure I was the opposite of how my mother use to be that I went too far. It took me a long time to realize that the little things matter. There's nothing wrong with making your man's plate or bringing him his dinner. It's okay to let your guard down sometimes.

With that all being said, I still don't get how men "babysit" their own kids, or "help" their wives clean the home they live in. It's not her job. If it was, she would be getting paid. What's wrong with shared responsibilty?

Friday Funny

1. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

2. A day without sunshine is like, night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.

5. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6. 99% of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.

7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

9. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

10. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.

16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

17. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!

19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

22. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...

23. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

28. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

30. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines .

32. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

33. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

34. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

35. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

36. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

Feeling Nostalgic

For some reason, i've been singing New Edition songs all day long. They are, by far, my favorite male singing group of all time. I love them with Bobby Brown or Johnny Gil. I love BBD and Ralph Tresvant's "Sensitivity." You could not tell me I was not THE Candy Girl. (I still have my album) I know all the choreography for the, "If it isn't Love," video. "Can You Stand the Rain," is one of my favorite slow songs of all time. I have gone to at least five New Edition concerts. I love NE from "Candy Girl," to "Hot Tonight." Their showmanship takes me back to the days when showmanship actually meant something. I heard they're going on tour in 2009, and guess who will be there.

It's been 25 years and New Edition recently received ASCAPS's (American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers) Golden Note Award. This award is given to artists who have achieved extraordinary career milestones. New Edition are the Temptations of my time and I never thought they got the recognition they deserved. Without NE, there would be no New Kids on the Block, no Boyz II Men, no N'Sync, no Backstreet Boys, no boy band craze at all.



I met my husband in 1983 and we had so much fun. The eighties were the bomb. I had a red and black lumber jack, with the hat to match. My husband wore kazals and Sergio Valente's with no lenses. We would go down to Time's Square and see three movies for $3. It was fun to sit in McDonald's all night and talk and laugh.

Rap music was getting it's start and we would go to jams in the park. The deejays didn't always have enough electricity so they would run a bunch of extension cords from someone's apartment. An occasional fight would break out and, once in a blue moon, someone might get shot. It didn't happen that often. We had fun.

The music was fun, not violent. We danced, and flirted, and had fun. It was a different time. Things are so violent and sexual now. Sometimes it doesn't seem like young people know what fun is anymore. They're so busy seeing and doing adult things that they don't have time to be kids.

Guys would walk down the block with their ghetto blasters playing their music as loud as they could. They would even sit them down and have battles to see whose was louder. Just like LL, they couldn't live without their radio.



Remember dookie ropes and Adidas with the thick laces?

When I was young, I played outside all day long. I got upset when I had to go inside. We now live in the day of the video game. Kids don't give a damn about the sun. It's all about Playstation, Wii, and Xbox.

I remember when my father use to tell me the music I listened to sucked or I didn't know anything about music. I would laugh. Now, I find myself saying the same thing to my son when I hear him listening to certain rap songs. I guess I feel that way because I was there at the beginning. I know what it was and sometimes i'm disappointed in what it has become. At the same time, when a rapper tries to say something in his music he probably won't make much money. I guess I just miss the day of the MC, and the deejay at the turntable.



I was just feeling a little nostalgic. You may now return to the twenty first century...

Today's the Last Day

In most states, today is the deadline for voter registration.

My 20 year old nephew stopped by my house the other day and the first thing I asked him was if he was registered. He was extremely happy to tell me he registered a few days prior. I was happy that he was happy. This election has excited so many people. My nephew and I discussed the campaigns and I was impressed with his knowledge. He really knew what was going on and said he made sure his friends registered as well and he would take them to the polls if he had to.

I registered as soon as I turned 18 and encouraged my children to do the same. It felt so good when I received my card in the mail. Voting was a big deal to me. My mother and sister weren't registered and I did what I could to get them involved.

Barack Obama and John McCain (in a different way) have energized people to get out and vote. There's a permanent voter registration table in the lobby of the hospital where I work and I see people signing up every day. People I know who never really cared about politics have become informed and we are constantly having discussions about the campaign. It's wonderful.

There are only a few weeks left and I hope we can do what, in my opinion, needs to be done. We can't afford more of the same. It's time for a change.

Independent Woman

I watched the debate last night and I was going to blog about it, but changed my mind. The wreck that is Sarah Palin is just not worth the space. I'm tired of complaining about her lack of, well, everything. I may have changed my mind if she would have given a straight answer for at least one of the questions she was asked.

I respect Sarah Palin's gangster as a woman. Running for the second highest office in the United States is not a small thing. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there like that. I respect all independent, strong-willed women who handle their business. It doesn't matter whether you have a man. As long as you make it do what it do you are an independent woman. You take care of yourself and don't depend on anyone else, and stand on your own two. Do your thing lady.

An independent woman has her own cash flow, takes care of her responsibilites, and is content and happy with herself. She doesn't take nonsense, asks for nothing, and usually gives a lot. Life doesn't scare her and she's willing to take a chance because she has faith in her abilities.

No one is born this way. We all have to go through things to get to where we want to be. Eventually, you get to the crossroad and have to decide who you want to be and how you want to live. It's not easy. I'm still working on it, but I feel myself changing. I'm coming into my own personal glory. I love my man, but don't need him. There was a time when I did.

I've had my dependant moments. The times when I felt like I couldn't make it. The times when I worried more about what other people thought than how I felt. Those times now serve as the memories that have made me stronger. I've realized that I cannot allow people's opinions to cloud my judgment or my decisions. My thing is my thing. If you have a problem with it, get out of my lane because i'm at the point in my life where I will run right through you.

Life is good. I see it through different eyes. My rose colored glasses are now a shade of grey. Everything's not rosey, but it ain't all black and white either. I have victory in my sights and it will be mine.

I'm independent in so many ways now. My thoughts are mine, my cash is mine, my life is mine. I'm standing on my own two. Yes I want you, but I don't need you. I'm independent and it feels so good.

I Just Want To Write

I get up at 5:30, Monday through Friday, and get dressed to go to work. It's not what I want to do but the bills have to get paid. These mornings are getting harder and harder. There are some mornings that I hit the snooze button so many times I lose count.

Working for other people is not what I want to do. I'm a writer dammit! My book is almost done and the last thing I want to do is help someone else's business progress. I want to work on my own creation. All I can think of when i'm at work is how to get the character i'm working on to the end. I see the light at the end of the tunnel, but time is not allowing me to get there.

I want that feeling. The feeling you get when you know you love what you do, that's what i'm looking for. I just want to write. I'm a writer dammit! It's what I should be doing for a living, how I should be making my money. I'm so good at it, can't live without it.

I'm on edge. It would be great if I could lock myself in a room and write. I don't care about eating or sleeping, I just want to write. My husband supports me a lot, but he also wants me to spend time with him. I'm on the verge of telling him to leave me the hell alone and let me do what I have to do, but that wouldn't be right. Instead, I ask for an hour before dinner.

I just want to write. It's all I can think about. It is the love of my life.

Being at the end of my novel is like being nine months pregnant. The anticipation is killing me. I want to see what my mind gives birth to. Seeing my book in print is my dream. I'm so close, and yet so far. I will be totally amazed when I am officially an author. I'm already a writer, but being an author will be totally different.

Not everyone will understand the way I feel right now. My son's teacher published his first novel and the look on his face when he showed me his creation is the look I cannot wait to have on my face. It's a look of sheer excitement and accomplishment.

I just want to write. I've been a writer all my life. I cannot wait until the day when I am an author. It's the day i've been wanting for a long, long time.

How Can I Trust You If You Don't Trust Me?

Recently I realized that someone I thought I was pretty close with wasn't really that close to me. I never had a problem telling this person things that were going on in my life and sharing my thoughts and emotions with them. I was under the impression that they felt the same about me. I was wrong and it hurt my feelings.

Since coming to the realization that someone I confided in hides key information about themselves from me and hasn't really been sharing anything with me because they have their, "reasons," has made me pull back from them. I can't help but wonder if I did something to make them feel that way. If I did, they should have told me. I took a step back and started to think about things and I realized that they have always talked in code. It feels like our relationship has been fake. It's not that I want to know their business or anything like that, but why should I share things with someone not willing to do the same with me?

For me, it all boils down to trust. I would trust this person with my life and all that it entails. Obviously they do not feel the same way so I feel forced to keep all the things I would usually tell them to myself. It's almost as if I don't want to talk to them because I feel like I need to watch what I say. That's okay for some relationships but for this one it verges on the cusp of the unacceptable.

I'm not the type of person who lets a lot of people in. I don't have, or need, loads of friends and i'm fine with having a small circle of quality people in my life. For me to have opened up to someone and have them tell me they would not do the same with me kind of threw me for a loop. I closed up. This happened a while ago and is still on my mind. Because I am guarded with my feelings, I don't have loads of people I confide in. To lose on of the few is very costly. I kind of feel alone in a way.

The one person I always truly and totally confided in is my father. He passed away ten years ago, but I still talk to him. At times I try to figure out what kind of advice he would give me. He always knew what to say. I miss him so much! I also had a best friend who was always there to listen to me, and me to her, but she has a new job with lots of responsibilities and we kind of lost touch. I miss her too.

I feel kind of sad, but i'll be fine. Blogging always helps me to sort out my feelings. Loss does not always equal death. I feel like I lost someone who was, and still is, very important in my life. Our relationship is forever changed. I feel the damage cannot be repaired, and that hurts...

He Reminds Me Of...

When I see:




All I can think of is:

The Campaign of Ploys

So, I was watching the news yesterday and they started talking about how McCain wants to postpone Friday's Presidential debate to concentrate on the economy. All I could think to myself was, "another ploy." He knows he can't mess with Barack in a debate and he's trying to buy himself some time to prepare. Personally, I don't think he'll ever be prepared so he might as well get it over with.

Barack has regained the lead, according to polls, and McCain had to do something. I think he tried to blindside Barack when he announced that he will be suspending his campaign. He now feels that both parties should come together in a bipartisan effort to solve our economic problems. He is, after all, the candidate of change and maverick of politics, right?

This is the real deal. If you look at the polls, the economy is the issue Americans are most concerned about. This is why McCain is trying to show his concern on that issue. He'll do anything to try and make himself look like he actually gives a damn.

McCain received a phone call from Obama that he returned six hours later. Obama asked McCain to join him in issuing a joint statement in reference that would let Congress and the Bush administration know where they stood. McCain wanted to meet but Barack felt they should focus on the statement first. They next thing he knew, McCain was on television announcing the suspension of his campaign and saying it is not time for statements, but time for action.

The Palin ploy is losing its effect and they lost their lead in the polls. The next ploy would be to make it look like you're this selfless politician who is putting country first. The reality is you know you won't win the debate and the transparency of your campaign is becoming clearer and clearer by the day.

I've tried to see McCain as an intelligent man of service but it's just not going to happen. I can't help but see him as Bush III. I tried to watch the W's speech last night, but I just couldn't do it. Every time I look at him I get more and more upset that Curious George is running the country. He finally noticed that, "Our economy is in danger," and wants Congress to allow his $700 billion bailout plan to go through.

So, back to McCain who wants to postpone the debate. Bush has invited both candidates to Washington to discuss the economy. This came at the perfect time for McCain. It gives him an excuse. Like Barack said, if you can't multi task you have no business running for President. What is he going to suspend when he's in the oval office and things get rough? This is something that cannot be solved in a day, so the debate should go on.

Ploy, after ploy, after ploy, that's all McCain's campaign is about. His vice presidential candidate has no communication with the press and hasn't done a real interview since we found out about her. She's sitting down with world leaders for photo ops, but won't talk to the press. How do they get away with that? It amazes me.

One of my biggest pet peeves is having my intelligence insulted. The McCain campaign hits that nerve each and every day. They have nothing to say. It's amazing that this man is who the republican party chose to represent them.

Like someone commented on my previous post, "We need Barack more than ever."

The Value of Life

There's an incident that has been on the news here in New York City that has my mind spinning. A 52 year old man was robbed and beat in the head with baseball bats my two men, and it was caught on camera. As I watched this man being beat, I wondered how anyone could do something like that. There were two men with a baseball bat, they probably could have robbed him without trying to beat him to death.

Miraculously, the victim survived. He was beat in the head with a baseball bat for a gold chain, and his wallet and cell phone. Someone in the apartment building found him lying unconscious in the lobby 30 minutes later.

I watch a show called The First 48 on A&E. It's all about the first 48 hours of murder investigations. As sad as the show makes me, I can't stop watching. I really cannot believe how little value some people have for human life. I've seen shows where people were murdered for $500 or because they had a fight with someone and couldn't accept the fact that they got beat up. There are so many stupid reasons that I can't remember. Unfortunately, most of the people on the show are black. I know that it has a lot to do with where they film, but if i'm realistic I have to admit that a lot of my people don't value life the way they should.

My daughter believes that there are so many past issues that go into the mentality of those in our communities. Although that is something I fully understand, I want to know when personal responsibility comes in. When do you know that repeatedly beating someone in the head with a baseball bat is unacceptable? What kind of person do you have to be to do something like that?

My heart hurts for my people because I know what we are capable of. Imagine what we could accomplish if we lived the lives we are capable of living. We are a beautiful people. Why don't we realize the value of life?

Life Inventory

I had a lazy weekend and didn't really do much. My husband and I went to the first meeting of a couples group we joined and it was a lot of fun. We planned to go out later that night, but once we got in the house and relaxed it was over. We never made it out. That was fine with me. I don't need to hit the streets every weekend. Spending quiet days at home with my hubby is nice to do from time to time. We all need that quality time.

I got up early Sunday morning and did some grocery shopping and cleaning and that was about it. Cleaning time is always a good time to think. As I was cleaning my kitchen I started to think about my life. It's been pretty good. I've gone through a few things, but compared to a lot of people it's been a pretty good ride. I started my family at an early age and, even though I know I wasn't the perfect mother, I did the best I could.

My children are great people. They have both had a lot of success academically, but I am most proud of the human beings they turned out to be. You can have a lot of things, but if you're not good down to the white meat, it doesn't really matter. If I never do anything else in my life, I know that I have contributed two beautiful souls to the universe.

There was a time when I wondered if I was enough. I worried that the person I am and the way I lived my life was insufficient. I didn't know if I was a good enough mother or wife, I wondered if I was letting people down, and I constantly agonized over every little thing. My pisces mind is always turning.

I've finally come to the conclusion that who I am is more than enough. I couldn't have been too bad a mother because I raised two wonderful people, my husband and I have had our ups and downs but we're still together, I may not be rich or famous, but i'm comfortable with the life I live and know that I am capable of doing more and will.

There are a few things that are important to me and as I take inventory of my life I realize that I have all that I need. I could always use more, but my life is wonderful just the way it is. I am constantly learning and growing so I know I will be added more ingredients to my pot of life.

I thought about it:

Happiness - Check
Loving family - Check
Fun and laughter - Check
A man who loves me - Check
Good health - Check
Bills paid - Check (even though it's a struggle sometimes, it gets done)
Relationship with the Lord - Check

I think i'm doing pretty good.



Recipe For A Happy Life

One cup of Confidence
One cup of Love
In a pan of Happiness
Mix the above.

Add a pinch of Tenderness
A tablespoon of Truth
Stir well in the Sunshine
Roll out a loving Trust

Flour well with Contentment
Keep all free from Strife
Fill with Understanding
And bake well all your Life

Does Alaska Love Palin?

Here are some photoos from the protest you probably haven't heard about. On September 13, 2008 fifteen hundred people showed up to a nonppartisan Anti-Palin rally in Alaska. I haven't heard anything about it in the media, so I decided I needed to do my part to get the word out.

No More Junk!

"Giving up people, places and things that we know that we need to let go-opens up the door to the people, places and things that we truly want."-Ruby Fleurcius

This is such a true statement.

At the same time, just because we let go of people, places, and things that doesn't mean we can't learn for them. We've all had experiences or met people that weren't good for us, but ended up with some kind of knowledge that helped us in our lives. Life is a constant spiral of learning and change.

I talk a lot about how different my attitude and outlook on life has been since I turned 40. I'm still a work in progress, but i'm getting better. I feel a change in myself almost every day. I'm trying to improve my life and i'm making changes, bit by bit. I learn something new about myself all the time.

I was talking to a friend yesterday and she said her sister was like a life virus. Trouble constantly follows her and she brings her drama into my friends world. She asked me if it was wrong for her to want to cut off communication with her flesh and blood. We don't get to pick our relatives, they're given to us. At the same time, it's important to do what is right for your life.

Sometimes I hate when people ask my advice on these kinds of situations. It's hard to tell someone not to associate with their sister, even when I think it's the best decision that can be made. I love my sisters and could not imagine not having them in my life. The only thing I could say to my friend was do what is right for you. Is cutting off someone you've grown up with and share a bloodline with ever the right decision? Aren't we suppose to be there for our family? It's a catch 22.

I'm sure we all have family members that we have issues with. We still love them, but our lives would be much better if we didn't have to deal with them. What do we do? Do we disown them, or do we put up with them because we have the same bloodline? It's rough. Sometimes the best thing to do is love someone from a distance, but that's easier said than done.

It's so important to rid our lives of negative energy. That's something that can really bring you down. It has a bigger effect than we may realize. I have gotten rid of a few people who always think negatively and put other people down and i've noticed that it has made a difference in my life. Like I always tell my children, misery loves company. People who don't have anything going on in their lives surely don't want others to succeed.

I've really noticed who was really behind me since i've come to the end of the novel I am writing. People I thought had my back have made backhanded comments or make faces when I talk about my excitement. I can tell they're not happy for me. Their words go one way, but their reactions go another. It's very interesting. My sister has always said it's not good to tell people too much because a lot of times they're wolves in sheep's clothing. I didn't want to, but I finally had to admit that she's right. You try to see the best in people, but sometimes the worst is all there is.

I read something that I think about from time to time and try to apply to my life. If you have trash in the tank of your car, it inhibits the cars performance. The car will still run, but the more junk it accumulates, the more gas it will use and the more stress it will place on the engine. This is also true in life. The more junk we have in our lives, the more stressed out we will become.

Get rid of the junk in your tank!

Dreams

Do you pay attention to your dreams? I don't mean like Biggie's "Dreams of f'ing an r&b chick." I'm talking about close your eyes at night dreams. Do the things you see while you're sleeping mean anything?

I was talking to a friend of mine last night and she said something crazy happened to her. She's been suspicious of her husband's activities for a while and when she said her prayers before she went to bed she asked God to send her a sign if something was going on with him. That night, she had a dream that she was on the bus with her husband, their children, and his newborn baby.

She called me and asked what I thought the dream meant. She wondered if she should question her husband. I had no idea what to tell her. All I could say was I didn't know if dreams always have literal meanings. It could have meant several things, or it could have meant absolutely nothing at all.

I've had a lot of dreams over the years. There were times when I thought they didn't mean anything and it turns out they did. I once had a dream that a co-worker died and her supervisor was talking about someone having to do her work since she wasn't there. I came to work and she had called in sick and guess who had to do her work. It was a little spooky.

I know we've all had dreams of falling. Did you hit the ground? Some people think you'll die if do. When you dream of falling, it's suppose to be an indication of insecurities, instabilities, and anxieties. There could be something that is overwhelming you or stressing you out. I've actually had this experience. I had was given a project at work that I wasn't sure I could finish in time and I had dreams that I was falling all week long. I finished and did a good job, but I was stressed out the entire week and my dream reflected that.

So, do you believe there are hidden messages in our dreams? I'm not really sure. I would never tell my friend that she should believe her husband had a child with another woman because she saw it in a dream, but you never know. Anything is possible.

I slept so good last night that I didn't even have a dream. What does that mean?

Not who I thought

Today I found out that someone I really respected is not who I thought they were. I found out things about them that really shocked me. I thought this person was of really high character and it turns out that's not exactly the case. There are things that this person has done within their relationship that I couldn't believe.

I've been thinking about this. Should my opinion change because of something this person did that really has nothing to do with me? I mean, I have to admit, the level of respect I have for this person has gone down, but should I judge? Are they the same person? It's kind of confusing.

I see this person totally different and it's kind of awkward. The things that I know are so contradictory to who I thought they were that i'm totally taken aback. I'm not one to judge other people's actions, but I can't help but feel that i've been lied to by this person. We've had several conversations that led me to believe this person had certain standards and even though they haven't done anything to me I still feel a certain way.

Should someone's personal issues affect the relationship you have with them? I love this person to death, but i'm not sure how I will act the next time we come in contact. It's hard for me to hide my feelings and this person knows me. They will know that something is wrong. I don't love them any less, but I do see them differently.

Am I wrong?

Just because she's a woman?

I went to the nail salon yesterday and met a really nice lady. We talked about the election and our concern for the direction the country will take if John McCain is elected President. We shared the same concerns and hoped that people who are not registered will realize that their vote counts and get out and do what they need to do.

Another woman who was getting her nails done worked her way into our conversation and said she will not be voting for Obama. We asked her why and she said because of Sarah Palin. Both of us were taken aback because we both felt like Palin was a terrible choice for a Vice Presidential candidate. I asked her what she liked about Palin and she said, "She's a woman."

It turns out that this woman is one of the bitter Hillary Clinton supporters who thinks any woman is better than no woman at all. She said she thinks it would be wonderful to have a woman in such a powerful position. When asked what she thought about Palin's politics, she said she didn't know anything about them.

I was shocked. I think everyone in the place was. It reminded me of something my co-worker said. He said everyone doesn't deserve the right to vote. I'm not sure if I wholeheartedly agree with that, but I understand his point. This woman is willing to put John McCain in office just so Sarah Palin can be Vice President.

I asked the woman how she felt about banning certain books in the library, abolishing Roe-vs-Wade, and cutting funding for programs that help teenage mothers. She said she thought all of those things were terrible. When I informed her that these are things Palin believes in, she shrugged her shoulders and said, "The Vice President doesn't have that much power anyway." We were all at a loss for words.

This just goes to show that the McCain campaign ploy has worked. Putting the self-proclaimed pit bull, lipstick wearing, hockey mom in the second spot will win them some female votes. I think it's a shame that it's that easy. Personally, I don't see how anyone could support her being vice president, but that's just my opinion. I happen to care about the issues.

Issues are the one thing I have not heard Palin talk about. All i've heard her do is make disrespectful comments about Barack Obama. I could not imagine her being President if something happened to McCain. It's bad enough I can't see him being President either.

One would hope that every person who goes to the polls makes an informed decision on who to vote for, but that's just not the case. I'm a Black woman, but if Barack Obama did not stand for anything and I did not agree with him on the issues I would note vote for him. How can someone vote for Palin just because she has the same private parts they do?

Where Were You?

I can't believe it's been seven years. I remember it like it was yesterday. The day started out like every other day. I got up, got dressed and went to work, we all did.

My mother called me at work and asked if I heard anything about a plane flying into the World Trade Center. I hadn't heard anything and we both hoped it wasn't true. I worked on Church Street the first time the WTC was damaged and my mind went back to that day.

I went online to see if I could find any information. Since there was nothing there, I figured what my mother heard was untrue. I said a prayer and went back to my work. Just as I put the thought out of my head, she called back and told me that the first tower had definitely been hit and that I should turn on the radio. It was all over the airwaves. A plane was flown into the World Trade Center.




It was unbelievable! I was in shock. My mind, once again, went back to the first time an attempt was made to destroy one of those buildings. I immediately thought of all the lives that would be lost. I sat down and cried. After the second tower was hit, I was devastated. I could only imagine what the people who were in those buildings must have been going through.

We all left work early and I made a beeline to my son's elementary school. Everyone was there picking their children up. We all wanted to make sure that our babies were with us. We weren't sure if we could keep them safe, but at least we would be together. No one knew if something else was going to happen and we were all terrified.

The World Trade Center towers were a part of the view from my terrace. I looked when I got home and all I saw was black smoke. I held my son's hand and cried like a baby. He didn't understand what was going on and I did the best I could to explain. To be honest, I wasn't sure myself. Who would do such a thing? How much hate do you have to have in your heart to kill thousands of people?

The images I saw on television are in my head to this day. Seeing people jump out of windows to escape the heat is something I will never forget. So many lost lives. All the people who kissed their relatives goodbye, never to see them again, and those who never got the chance to say goodbye. People walking around devastated and covered in ash.




A few days later my mother, daughter, sisters, a good friend, and I went down to a candlelight vigil in Union Square. Posters of lost loved ones were everywhere. People were hugging each other and crying. It wasn't about black or white, rich or poor, this or that, it was about the unnecessary loss of human life and the aftermath. People always seem to come together when there is a tragedy. Why can't it just stay that way?

I can't help but think about the presidential election today. Thinking about the tragedy only reinforces the need for change. After what took place seven years ago, how could anyone want more of the same? It boggles my mind that people don't make the connection. It's time for a new face, a new party, and some new policies that actually have a chance of helping people who need it the most. It's time for a change.

I thank God every day that my family wasn't affected by the tragedy. I also pray for those who were. Life is so short. We really have to cherish the ones we love and let them know how we feel about them. You never know what could happen. We have to value the love we receive.

Take some time today to think about those who lost their lives and be thankful for your life and the lives of the people you care about.

Have a love affair with yourself

A friend of mine emailed something to me that I thought I should share.

Thought of the Day

Greetings!

'A love affair with ourselves is guaranteed to become a love of a lifetime.'-Ruby Fleurcius

Sometimes we find ourselves looking for love in all the wrong places; when the right place to receive what we are looking for starts from within. Whether we are married or not, we must become our very own soul-mate first, in order to effectively attract or keep the mate of our soul. That means that we must develop an irrevocable bond with ourselves to ensure that we are able to do the same with another.

We cannot go wrong with loving ourselves and by doing so, it releases the desire to love unconditionally. Those who constantly hate people, places or things without reason must question whether or not there is a true love for themselves. My friend, it is very hard for us reciprocate love if we are not initiating it with ourselves first. This is not about selfishness, or having an inflated ego; this is about pure humility and respect for ourselves.

There will be times when you may feel as if you are all alone with the love you have in your heart. But, trust me, if you develop a love affair with yourself, people will desire what you have to give without you overworking yourself to get it or give it.

Prayer: Father, today is my first day of beginning a love affair with me. Lord, as I love me more, I know that my life will begin to overflow with the people, places and things that share the same passion. In Jesus name. Amen.

I totally agree. Love yourself folks. It's the pathway to happiness.

The Video Speaks for Itself

Go Serena!

My girl, Serena Williams, had me up until almost midnight last night, even though I had to get up at 5:30. She won the U.S. Open and took the number one ranking.



I have been a fan of the Williams sisters since the days of the beads. I remember when Venus first hit the scene. It was a James Brown moment. Say it loud! They didn't know what to do with her. Black folks aren't suppose to play tennis.



As if Venus taking the tennis world by storm wasn't enough, Serena was added to the mix. It was so wonderful watching these two powerful, poised, and talented young ladies getting the job done. The odds were against them from the start. They didn't get the warmest of receptions from tennis fans or players, but through it all they kept their heads up and busted down barriers.



Althea Gibson and Arthur Ashe laid the foundation and the Williams sisters made the road a little smoother. They changed the way women's tennis was played. Power! I loved watching it all unfold. People who doubted and disrespected them had no choice but to respect these young women. They never complained, just played tennis and collected titles. That's how it's done.



The Williams sisters have inspired many young people. They've inspired me as well. They've shown me that no matter how people doubt you or talk about you, you can achieve your goals. They put the T in tenacity and have made their mark on the world of tennis, just as I would like to do in the writing world. I thank them for doing us proud. Every time I see them I well up with pride.

They've grown into wonderful young women and I wish them continued success.

It's My Passion

I spent most of my day writing. I'm almost done with my first novel. It's an exciting time for me. Ideas are coming from everywhere. I couldn't keep the smile off of my face as I realized that i'm almost done. I know the real work will begin when I am done, but i'm looking forward to it. I know a couple people who have published their own books and I hope to join their ranks. There's nothing like seeing the fruits of your labor.

When i'm writing I feel so free. It's like nothing else exists. I'm old school. I like to put paper to pen. I'm not a huge fan of writing at the computer. I'm not really sure why. Sitting in a room with a pen and a notebook is organic to me. I love the feeling.

It feels wonderful to have that thing that I love to do. I can sing, but i've never wanted to be a singer. It's not my passion. I like to sing, but I love to write. I don't know what I would do if for some reason I could not longer do what I love. It makes me nervous to even think about it. No matter what the situation, i'd find a way to write.

What an accomplishment it would be for me when I see the final product and my book is done. I've said before that I wouldn't care if I only sold one copy. That's true, but the goal is to make my novels my career. I'm tired of working for other people, especially when I know i'm sitting on the gold mine that is my writing. I'm a humble person, but I know i'm good. I just haven't wanted to say it.



It's time that I acknowledge my talent. It was given to me for a reason. I don't want to be a star, I just want to share my words with the world. It's my calling. I hope that my words can bring joy to someone, or make them smile, or think. I cannot wait to see my book in print. For me it would be the equivalent of an aspiring actress seeing her name in lights. Oh, what a feeling it's going to be. I can't wait to make it happen.

Who Are They Fighting For?

As usual, Barack has said what I was thinking. Anyone who thinks that community organizing is a joke is obviously either out of touch with the community or doesn't give a damn about the community. In the case of Sarah Pailin, i'd say it's a bit of both. Who are they fighting for is the perfect question to ask.

I watched some of the RNC (there's no way I could stomach the entire thing) and it looked like a bunch of robots in suits sitting around making fun of the American people. The fact that Pailin is their nominee for vice president feels like and insult.

I've always cared about politics, but this election has me fired up. After the eight years of torture we have suffered through it's really important that we put the right person in the White House. John McCain seems very confused to me, and not only because he's old. He's just not sure if he's pro or anti Bush. One minute he's voting with him 90% of the time and the next he's a maverick and the candidate of, get this, change.

Every time I hear McCain and Pailin speak, I feel like my intelligence is being questioned. Do they really think people believe the things they say? Who are the people who actually do, and what the hell is wrong with them?

As I think of the choices, I see absolutely no comparison. I try not to think of what it would be like if Barack were to lose the election. It would be tragic. Believe it or not, I actually know a few people who weren't registered. After getting tired of my constant nagging they finally got their stuff together. They will be voting if I have to drag them to the polls. We need all the votes we can get.

I really don't understand how anyone could even think of not voting in this day and age, knowing what George W. Bush has done to this country. My cousin actually carries registration applications in his pocket and has convinced a few people to do what needs to be done.

This is all about the grass roots. We need to roll up our sleeves and do what we have to do to get Barack Obama elected.

Friends

There's a saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I think it's true. I've never been the type of person to know a whole bunch of people. I believe in quality as opposed to quantity. I have friends who i've known forever, then there are those who I consider acquaintances, and friends I haven't known that long, but like a lot.

There are so many ways to make friends. You can meet them at work, in social settings, or through other friends. I have a few friends I cherish that I met through others. My friend Kecha was the girlfriend of one of my husband's friends. The two of us clicked from the beginning and got close immediately. I've known her for about 15 years now and she's someone I know I can depend on no matter what. She's the type of person that will give you the shirt off her back without a second thought.

I got the idea for this blog from my friend Trixie who I met through family. We're both pisces and I think we understand each other. It's important to have friends that understand who you are. I'm a private person and so is she. We're very emotional, but people don't know that because of our hard shell. Trix is someone who will have your back through thick and thin if she's your friend. She's that ride or die chick that will pick you up at 4:00 in the morning to go and handle whatever business needs to be handled. LOL!

I've known my friend Bena since third grade. She's in Georgia now. That's my girl no matter what. We've kind of lost touch, but if I saw her tomorrow it would be like we never parted.

Marilyn is one of my best friends in the world. That's my sister from another mother. If ever I don't have, she's there for me. She has done a lot for me over the years. We met at work about 20 years ago and became friends instantly.

There's Greg who has known my husband almost all his life. I consider him a brother. We lost touch for a little while but he was always on my mind. He's more like a brother. I like the way he thinks. We do nothing but laugh when we're together. He's one of the people I feel most comfortable around.

I have made friends that will be in my life forever on my current job. A couple are still there and some have moved on. We don't see each other as much as we use to but we always have fun when we do.

These are all lifetime friends. No matter what we're going to be friends.

I've met people who came into my life with information that I really needed and we lost touch. I'm writing a book and I met someone who has published one on her own. We spoke on the phone and went out for drinks a few times and I gathered a lot of information. We didn't communicate for a while, and eventually lost touch. She came into my life for a reason.

There are people who we hang out with, but don't really talk to about anything serious. We just enjoy their company.

Friends come in so many different forms. Those of us who have them are really lucky. It's just great to have those that you can call on no matter what.

I've been in a really reflective mood since I came back from visiting my family. Seeing them helped me to appreciate all that I have. Today I told my sister that I don't write in my journal anymore because I have this blog. I told someone I had a blog and they asked what I blogged about. I told them that I don't have a specific topic. I blog about whatever's on my mind. Yesterday it was haters, today it's friends. Who knows what will be on my mind tomorrow.

Haters

People hate on the down low. It's so sad...

I'm doing a few things in my life that i'm proud of. I've shared some of these things with people and have realized that some aren't as happy for me as they seem. My sister, Char, once told me that it's not always good to tell people things. I didn't want to believe that at first, but I have come to find that it's true.

I read between the lines of the comments that people make, or see that they try to change the subject when I talk about what i'm doing. They say little things with a fake smile and think they're being slick, but i'm a pisces and very intuitive. I know fake when I see, hear, and read it. At first I was a little hurt about it, then pissed off, now I don't really give a damn.

One of my friends is doing big things with music right now. I'm very proud of him because I know how hard he works. He's behind the scenes. We work together. He talks about what's going on with the music a lot. I understand how it feels to be excited about something and want to tell people about what you're doing because I feel the same way. I look at some people when he is talking and they're making faces and rolling their eyes. It's not because he's bragging or anything like that, it's because they're haters.

When people don't have things going in their lives, they can't stand it that others do. As I always tell my children, misery loves company. People try to keep you down, but you can't let them. You have to keep hustling and wipe the dirt off your shoulder.

While I was in North Carolina for my family reunion, I got so much support and encouragement that it put the whole hater thing in perspective. I came back to New York feeling hater proof.

So, while i'm brushing the haters off I wanted to take the time to thank those who support me.

Thank you to my husband, who doesn't like to read, for being so supportive of me and taking the time to read my book and give me constructive criticism and ideas that have helped to make it even better.

Thank you to my kids for always asking me how my book is coming along. Thank you Ratique for always commenting on how hard i'm working to finish and offering to get me something to drink or eat when i'm deep in writing thought. Thank you Lamika for convincing me to send my novel off to publishers when I am done just to see what happens. I had it in my mind that I wanted to do all the work and didn't want any outsiders reading my stuff. Thank you for helping me to see otherwise. Also, thank you for taking the time to read my blog every day.

Thank you to my sisters for reading things I have written over the years and always encouraging me to keep going. It's appreciated more than you know. Thanks for reading my blog too. Whenever you see a comment for Char or Yvette, those are my sisters.

Thank you to my family in NC for bigging me up over the weekend. It meant a lot. It's nice to know that when people are asking questions about what you're doing it's because they genuinely want to know and have your best interest at heart. Thanks for the advice Uncle Lee, and thanks Auntie Ann for spreading the word and putting me in touch with people who may be able to help me finance the publishing of my book.

Thank you to two of my co-workers, Chandra and Cecil. I want to thank Chandra for bringing me lunch every day for about two months so that I could spend that time on the computer. There aren't many people who would have done that for me. We usually go to lunch together and if I ever need to stay behind and get some writing done she is more than happy to make sure that I have something to eat. I'm not sure if I ever told her how much I appreciate that. Cecil has always encouraged me. I'm not sure if he knows how much it means to me, so I wanted to put it out into the universe. He knows what it's like to have that passion that drives you that you want to be successful with. We share a bond of creativity that not a lot of people can understand.

Thanks to my brother Lateef who is one of the few people I let read my stuff because I value his opinion. He's one of the smartest people I know.

Thank you Yvonne for all your help and encouragement with my blog. You are a true diva and I appreciate all of your advice. I'm sure i'll be asking for more.

I have to thank my mother for her gentle encouragement. I talk to her and she'll say, "How's the book coming along bay?" and make me smile. I know that she wants me to succeed and I love her so much.

I also have to thank my father who encouraged me so much when he was alive and inspires me now that he's gone. I hope that he is smiling down on me and saying, "I'm proud of you Bugaloo."

Thank you all...

To all the undercover haters, I know who you are. Thank you to you as well. Your hate makes me stronger. I have learned to dodge your negative energy because I feel so positive about what i'm doing and have so many wonderful people behind me. Maybe i'll give you a free copy of the book when it comes out...........NOT!

Black Man Running

I know there are a lot of folks sitting around scratching their heads saying, "How the hell did that happen?" I'm sure those same people thought it was a big joke when Barack Obama announced that he was running for President of the United States. I know the Clintons damn sure didn't think he would take the nomination they thought they were entitled to. When he won the Iowa primary they had to take him seriously, but I still don't think they thought he could take it all the way. Well guess what, he did.

Damn it felt good to watch that strong, black man stand in front of a stadium full of 80,000 people and claim what belonged to him.

I thought of all that our people have gone through and how many of those very people are not here to witness this moment. It's because of them that Barack Obama has the opportunity to be our President, and he knows that.

I'm usually a crier, but as I watched Barack speak I felt so much pride that all I could do was smile and throw in a "Amen" and a "speak brother" every now and then. My heart was full. I thought a lot about my father. I wish he was here to witness this moment. He would be so proud. Anyone who knew my dad knows he was a little on the militant side. Seeing that brother taking charge would have been his dream come true. I also pictured my grandfather sitting in his chair in the living room smiling.

So many people are looking down upon this moment in history and smiling. Win or lose, and I pray it's a win, Barack Obama has changed this nation. He has mobilized every age and race to call for change. As he said in his speech, "Eight is enough." I hope it will be enough to clean up the mess our President has made. One term certainly won't be enough.

My favorite moment of the night was when the speech was over and Michelle and the kids came out. Seeing this beautiful Black family holding hands and holding court was a beautiful thing. I thought to myself, "Wow, this could, and should, be the first family." The time is now. If we ever needed change, we need it now.

Let's go!