Sunday, January 3, 2010

It's all good

So it's 2010. Last year was very interesting for me. I tried to get to know myself a little better and get rid of some of the negativity in and around me. I wasn't always successful but I do think i'm better off at the start of this year than I was at the start of 2009.

I've taken some time to sit back and observe a lot of the people in my life. I've listened closer to some of the things they said and paid more attention to the things they did. I know that I have been blessed with a lot of love, but I have also detected a lot of fake that I didn't realize was there before.

It's all good.

There were times when I needed people and those who I expected to be there were not. I was surprised but moved on and handled my business. A few new faces popped up in times of need and some that have always been solid remained in place. Surprises all around. Now I know who I can count on at this point in my life.

A few relationships have splintered and others have been strengthened. I reached out a little more than I usually do because I realized you can't do it all alone. It felt good at times and at times there was a little regret. I'm still glad I let go a little bit. It put a lot of things in perspective. There are people who have been in my life who probably won't hear from me again. I see what they're about and it's not what I want in my life.

There are also those who will see and hear from me more. In the past I closed myself off when I felt disappointment. I've realized that life is all about the lessons you learn and how you apply them. I'm ready to be more open with who I am and take the risk of not always getting the result I want.

It's all good.

There's no such thing as a perfect life. We just have to live and let live. I'm trying really hard to throw a lot of my judgments away and see folks for who they are and not what I would like them to be. My actions and reactions will not be the same as someone else's. I can't expect people to be like me. I'm not always right anyway. I also have to learn not to take things so personally. Sometimes it just is what it is.

I took a really good look at life and myself when I found out I was going to be a grandmother. My son is 19 years old. Of course I would have love it if he waited until he graduated and had a career before becoming a father but that's not the way things worked out. Finding out he was going to be a father made me take a step back before reacting. I learned a powerful lesson that I will keep with me.

I'm very excited now. Every time I see a baby my heart turns to mush. I think of how it will be to hear the crying or pitter patter of little feet. I know that things are going to be alright. A child is a blessing just like a new year. I am blessed to see 2010. I have learned lessons and feel optimistic about life, especially the new life that will be here very soon.

It's all good.


Solomon said...

You sound very optimistic about what the future holds. Good for you, keep up the positive outlook and everything will always turn out OK!

Standing Able said...

Attempting to write something through a storm of tears is difficult...where is that box of tissues! Tammy, what a year 2009 was and what a year 2010 will unfold. Each of us have loved and lost...been hurt and healed...been knocked down and gotten back up...been disappointed and I'm sure we've disappointed. I'm sure that there are going to be more of the same from others in this life time, but Glory be to God the blinders have been removed and we can see them coming and know exactly how to handle each one. It's the season of RESPONSIBILITY and each of us are responsible for our thoughts, decisions and actions. Coming to the realization that we can't make mini me's, is the first step to accepting responsibility. The season for excuses has finally ended and moving forward into this new season promises to blow our minds with possibilty and purpose.
The birth of your grandchild promises to overflow your life with joy! What a pleasure it has been to travel this journey with you and I promise to be a positive influence in your life...nothing fake about me, for as long as you'll have me!

Peace and Abundant Blessings to you and your entire family Tammy!

Love Ya Sis,

Strongblkwmn said...

Solomon - My grandchild is affecting my spirit and he/she isn't even here yet. I'm definitely feeling optimistic.

Stacye - Thank you for your words. You have already been a positive influence and hopefully we can meet one of these days. I would love to give you a big hug.

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Tammy, I can say that it has been my joy spending the past year with you. We have a lot in common and I have enjoyed being apart of your life's journey. You have a beautiful marriage, beautiful children and a beautiful spirit. Soon the icing on the cake will be a beautiful bouncing gran-baby!

Love you and always praying for you.

PS If I find out that you came to MD to see Stacye and didn't pay me a visit, there will be a warrant for your arrest (LOL)

Strongblkwmn said...

Butterfly - I'm so happy that deciding to blog lead me to meet such wonderful people. I'm glad we have been here for each other's journeys. There's no way i'd go to MD and not see you. I'm hoping it will happen one day. Thanks for being a blessing...

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