Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Just Me

So, i'm what our society calls a "plus size," woman. I'm not sure where the plus begins. Is it two plus three or five plus seven or six plus ten? Who decides where the norm ends and the plus begins? That is something that always puzzled me.

I've never been skinny. Even though i'm five feet tall my frame is not small at all. I started to develop before a lot of the girls my age. It was kind of rough but I dealth with it. Boys are not the most gentle creatures and they always had smart remarks. I've never really been what you would call a delicate flower so I always had a comeback ready.

I gained weight after my daughter was born. She's 24 and i'm still losing my baby weight. I was a young mother and thought I could eat anything I want while I was pregnant and it wouldn't matter. Well, she weighed eight pounds and six ounces and I gained way more than that. I could say I regret all that I ate but carrying my first child was such a beautiful experience that I don't regret anything I went through. It was crazy to be a teenager and have the responsibility of bringing a life into the world.

I'm in a good place now but I have had my struggles. There was when I would not wear white because I thought it made me look bigger. I adopted the philosophy that darker colors would make me look smaller. I wouldn't wear purple either. I may sound crazy but I always thought of Barney. I've always had chubby cheeks that I cannot stand. I do, however, love my dimples.

I was never teased about my weight. I'm sure comments were made but no one has ever said anything to my face. I don't stand for that kind of stuff and have never had a problem giving as good as I get. Also, contrary to popular demand, every man does not turn his back on a woman who has some extra weight on her.

Another myth I hate is the one that makes it look like all "plus size" women have low self-esteem and feel bad about themselves. In my opinion, most women have body issues. This is not something that is exclusive to one type of woman or another. Some are able to accept themselves the way they are and others aren't.

The other day I came across the commercial for a show called "More to Love." Boy did that disgust me. This is a show about big women who spend their time crying and complaining about how hard life has been for them because of their weight. They're crying because they want to fall in love and have a "normal" life. After seeing the promo I went online and watched about five minutes of the show. That was all I could stand.

Extra weight doesn't lead to misery. We have to pay a little more for our clothes, but so what. I know how to find stylish clothes and put an outfit together just like any other woman. It is no longer the day of the moo moo. I hate those damned things! It's not hard to have some style. Size does not matter in this instance.

One thing that really bothers me is when people say stupid things like, "You have a pretty face." What the hell does that mean? Is that suppose to be a compliment? Just in case anyone thinks it is i'd like to inform them that it is not. If you're pretty you're pretty. Saying something like that is basically saying your face is nice but the rest of you is messed up.

I love the song, "Beautiful," by Christina Aguilera. I use to play it on my ipod every morning. "I am beautiful no matter what they say." If you look at television and in magazines you would think that all a plus size woman is good for is being some slim chicks sidekick, running after some man who doesn't want her (I hate the Parkers and always will), making fun of herself and how much she eats, or crying over how terrible she feels about her weight. I've had enough of that.

No one will dictate to me how i'm suppose to look or feel. There's no way everyone is suppose to fit into the same mold. Differences are what make life interesting. I don't want to look like anyone else. I like me. If people loved themselves more they wouldn't spend time worrying about others. I'm not "More to Love" i'm just me.