Friday, April 3, 2009

Damn Yankees!

So, it's a rainy day in New York. I'm sitting at my desk looking out the window and feeling sleepy. This is a day to be at home watching a movie or writing a good book.

I usually like rainy days. The problem with this one is it ruined my plans. I was suppose to go to the Yankee game. This was not a day for rain. The tickets were free. A friend of my husband's invited us. With the way the tickets prices have skyrocketed i'm not sure i'll be going to any games. I love the Yankees but I don't want to spend an arm and a leg to see them play.

I'm really disappointed in the lack of thought for people who can't afford season tickets or hundreds of dollars to take their family to see the Yankees. I'm hurt because I know that so many young people will not be able to have memories like mine.

My father and I went to Yankee games on a regular basis. That is where my love of sports was cultivated. My parents were divorced and this was time with my father that I cherished. It was our thing. We always had good seats and a lot of fun. I'm 41 years old and thinking of those times makes me smile.

My son will be working at the stadium. When he told me about the job, the first thing I thought of was discounts. You know how we do, always looking for the hook up. He seems to be really excited about it. He shares his mother's love of the Yankees. We watch games together and have in-depth discussions about the team all the time.

The new Yankee stadium does not seem to have been built for the average fan and that makes me sad. The people we were suppose to go with aren't even all that interested in the game. They want to walk around and see what the stadium looks like. Are they crazy? It's the Yankees. If i'm in Yankee Stadium i'm there because I want to watch a baseball game.

My father is no longer here and there are times when I sit and think of him and the days we spent together at Yankee Stadium. A new era may be rolling in, but my memories will last forever.

Monday, March 30, 2009

I'm kind of shy. I've been this way for as long as I can remember. It's not easy for me to be instantly comfortable in certain situations. I have to sit back and see what's going on. I don't warm up to people immediately. There are times when people assume that I am anti-social or stuck up because of this. That really doesn't matter to me because those are probably people I won't miss getting to know.

I'm very selective with who I let into my world. I've always been that way. It's the way i'm made. I'm not the type of person who will sit down with someone I just met and tell them my life story. I actually cannot stand when people do that. I was on the elevator the other day and before the woman who was riding up with me got to her floor, I knew what her job was, how much she made, how much her tax refund was, and how she knew she should have cheated on her taxes like she usually does because she was honest and didn't get anything back. I just smiled. She didn't know me from Eve. Why was she telling me all of her business?

I've often gone back and forth trying to decide if I should change my ways. I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I do have are of high quality. I've never been one who had to be a social butterfly. I actually prefer being alone. I like to spend time with my family and go out with my husband. There just always seems to be something crazy, fake, or annoying going on that I don't want to deal with. That's just how I am.

Am I a loner? In a lot of ways I am. I think it's part of my writer's spirit. I'd rather get lost in words than just about anything else. I don't have time to mess around with people's bull. I've been that way for years. Over those years, I have encountered a lot of hate because I choose to stay to myself. I guess it bothers people. Folks are always confused by things they don't understand, and that confusion leads to them trying to attach a label. I've been given many labels, and they don't usually fit.

I always hear, "I didn't think you were so cool," or "You're nothing like I thought you would be." I just laugh. The only way anyone would know how I really am is if I choose it to be. Am I wrong for that? Don't get me wrong. I know how to have a good time. People enjoy my company once they get to know me. I'm just selective with who I let in.

The funny thing is, there are people who would be shocked to hear me say that I am shy. I have a crazy sense of humor and I know i'm fun to be around. I love to laugh and have a good time. Some people have never seen the other side of me. I guess that's because I chose to let them in.

I guess i'm misunderstood in a lot of ways. The thing is, I don't think I care. I've heard things said about me by people who know nothing about me. They've passed judgment on who I am or what i'm about with absolutely nothing to back their statements up. I didn't get angry; I moved on. They were simply not people I needed to know.

Those who matter know the real me. They know the intelligent, thoughtful, crazy, brash, sensitive, lovable me. Those are the people I care about. I'm not sure if I want to let anyone else into my circle. Recently someone told me I should always be open to making new friends. I told them I wasn't against making new friends, I just wasn't searching for any. That's my choice. I'd rather leave it up to the universe and see what happens.