Sunday, January 3, 2010
So it's 2010. Last year was very interesting for me. I tried to get to know myself a little better and get rid of some of the negativity in and around me. I wasn't always successful but I do think i'm better off at the start of this year than I was at the start of 2009.
I've taken some time to sit back and observe a lot of the people in my life. I've listened closer to some of the things they said and paid more attention to the things they did. I know that I have been blessed with a lot of love, but I have also detected a lot of fake that I didn't realize was there before.
It's all good.
There were times when I needed people and those who I expected to be there were not. I was surprised but moved on and handled my business. A few new faces popped up in times of need and some that have always been solid remained in place. Surprises all around. Now I know who I can count on at this point in my life.
A few relationships have splintered and others have been strengthened. I reached out a little more than I usually do because I realized you can't do it all alone. It felt good at times and at times there was a little regret. I'm still glad I let go a little bit. It put a lot of things in perspective. There are people who have been in my life who probably won't hear from me again. I see what they're about and it's not what I want in my life.
There are also those who will see and hear from me more. In the past I closed myself off when I felt disappointment. I've realized that life is all about the lessons you learn and how you apply them. I'm ready to be more open with who I am and take the risk of not always getting the result I want.
It's all good.
There's no such thing as a perfect life. We just have to live and let live. I'm trying really hard to throw a lot of my judgments away and see folks for who they are and not what I would like them to be. My actions and reactions will not be the same as someone else's. I can't expect people to be like me. I'm not always right anyway. I also have to learn not to take things so personally. Sometimes it just is what it is.
I took a really good look at life and myself when I found out I was going to be a grandmother. My son is 19 years old. Of course I would have love it if he waited until he graduated and had a career before becoming a father but that's not the way things worked out. Finding out he was going to be a father made me take a step back before reacting. I learned a powerful lesson that I will keep with me.
I'm very excited now. Every time I see a baby my heart turns to mush. I think of how it will be to hear the crying or pitter patter of little feet. I know that things are going to be alright. A child is a blessing just like a new year. I am blessed to see 2010. I have learned lessons and feel optimistic about life, especially the new life that will be here very soon.
It's all good.