Monday, June 13, 2011

This may sound funny but I cry whenever I watch talent or skill based reality shows. There's something about watching people go for their dreams that touches me. I want them to succeed. I know what it's like to feel deep down in your soul that you have been called to do something. To be given the chance to share your talent with the world has to be an amazing feeling.

I am a writer. It's what I was meant to do. I may not have the means to make a living doing what I love but it will always be a huge part of my existence. I'm not sure what I would do if I could not write. Creative thoughts swirl through my head all day long. I'm always thinking of something I can put on paper. If I had my way I would lock myself in a room at least two hours a day and write, write, write.

What it must be like for someone who has singing in their blood to go on a show like American Idol or The Voice and get the chance to realize their dream. To be able to sing in front of millions of people each week has to be mind blowing. I recently watched a show called Master Chef. The contestants are all home cooks who aspire to be chefs. They get to cook for three world famous chefs. So one day you're at home cooking for your family and the next you're cooking for Gordon Ramsey. Mind blowing! It can't be easy to throw caution to the wind and try to realize your dream. I don't know what I would do if my work was read by Maya Angelou, Toni Morrison, or Alice Walker.

I watch these shows and I find myself weeping for those who don't succeed and shedding tears of happiness for those who do. I know it may be a little corny, but it's just me putting myself in their place. It's me living vicariously through fellow dream seekers. I get a special feeling when I see that person from a small town trying to make it. I love it when I see that thing in someone's eyes. It's cool to see a designer watch their creation go down the runway.

I think we all should have the chance to make our dreams come true. As I do some soul searching I realize that I am holding myself back. It's almost like I fear succeeding. I'm not sure I would know how to handle it and that scares me. I know what I am capable of. I've written a novel that I read five times and I still love it. I know that I have to stop making excuses and get on the ball. I may not have the money to do what i'd like to, but I need to find a way.

A friend sent me a quote that I try to keep in my head. "You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith."

I'm working on it...