Saturday, September 19, 2009

No title....

I wrote a book that I have read three times for editing purposes. I have not become bored or tired of going through it. I love what I have written. The storyline is good, the characters are solid, and I really do think it's worth reading. So, why don't I have a title?

When I first realized what I wanted to write and how things would be structured, I had the perfect title. It fit perfectly and I never gave it a second thought. There was no doubt in my mind. Throughout the entire writing process I never worried about coming up with a name for my work. I even knew what the cover would look like.

I finished writing and it felt great, it still does. One day I decided to google the title I chose and found out that it is very popular. I was so disappointed. That was a while ago. The problem is I feel stuck. I think my heart was so set on that title that my mind is blocked. No matter how hard I try I can't come up with anything.

None of my ideas seem to be good enough and I keep going back to the original title. I made a list of potentials but nothing jumps out at me. I want a title that will make people want to pick my book up off the shelves. A friend of mine is a photographer and he's ready to help me come up with the cover art. I just have to get it together.

I want the title of my book to mean something. It has to give you an idea of what you're about to read. This is not a simple decision. The problem is, my title block is holding me up. I have to copyright and register my book, get my own ISSN number, and so on but I can't do these things until I know what the hell the title is.

This process is wonderful and aggravating at the same time. I loved writing the book and editing has not been bad at all. It's all the other stuff. I'm ready to do the work but at times I feel like I don't know where to begin. It is my dream to publish on my own but I know it would probably be a lot easier if I actually hooked up with an established publisher. I know that's easier said than done.

One part of me wants to start off like Master P and sell books out of my trunk. The other part thinks it would be wonderful if someone thought enough of my work to help me introduce it to the world. I've come up with some fundraising ideas just in case. My book club thought their only job was to read the book and give me feedback. Boy do I have news for them. They're in for the long haul. The good news is I know they won't mind.

I feel blessed to have these kinds of dilemmas. There are folks who have no idea what they want to do. I have a vision for my future and I know that it will work out somehow. I'm definitely ready to do the work. I have no choice. It is my destiny. Now all I have to do is come up with a title.....

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I'm working on my patience. I really am. The amount of praying i've done on this issue is crazy. I know I have a quick temper and my tolerance for bullshit is very low. In my opinion the world would be a much better place if people just kept it a little more real. Be who you are. Who could it hurt?

My husband and I went upstate to visit friends and we had an awesome time. I was able to leave all the crap behind and let my hair down. It was just what I needed. Lately i've become so sick of my job that I have to fight to keep it from affecting other areas of my life. I do my best to leave all the mess behind when I leave at 3:30 every weekday but it's becoming harder and harder.

We were there from Thursday to Sunday and I felt great when I got home. I had Monday off and I was still feeling good. Monday night rolled around and I felt myself becoming depressed. Tuesday morning rolled around and I could barely get my head up off the pillow. I said a prayer, got it together, and made my way out the door.

I was determined not to let anything get to me and it was working. I let a smile be my umbrella and motored through the work day. The hour of 3:30 p.m. rolled around before I knew it and I left as fast as I could. I went home, spent some time with my son and cleared my head. I went to bed with a smile and woke up the same way.

I had a great attitude when I got to work today. "Mind over matter" was the motto for the day and it was working. I start at 7:30 and I don't really see anyone until around 9:00. I was pissed off by ten. The level of crap they come up with is so ridiculous that I can't put it into words. I won't even go into what the problem of the day was. It's just not worth being repeated by an adult.

I have to take it back to patience. The head of my department called the staff in one by one to talk about some real bullshit. I already said how low my tolerance is so imagine how I was feeling. I smiled on the outside but I was fuming! I told him how I felt and left when I couldn't take it anymore. A co-worker and I vented, I emailed a friend who always seems to have the words that calm me down, and kept it moving. Her response was something I already knew but I guess I needed to hear it.

That's just a decoy, that's to add insult to injury…you are already overwhelmed about personal stuff so the enemy knows that the job is a sore thumb so while he already has your attention he might as well continue to knock a GREAT WOMAN DOWN FOR THE COUNT….one, two, three…..and so on and so forth until you do explode….you already know what you will and won't do, so why should you even dwell on stupid stuff???? Stupid is as stupid does…let stuff roll off your back, why make it personal…like you really care?????? Just simply realize there's always another way to do what I want to do and do it w/a smile…..oh slap happy well…that's what they want now my question and what are you going to do????? Keep it moving, don't give in to the drama you are so much better than that, if they can't piss you off one way they come back w/another way…please they can't find anything else to pick at so why not that…..just shake your head, they don't have nothing better to do….BLOCK AND FOCUS…

I agree...