Saturday, August 16, 2008

Who decides what's beautiful?

So, I was watching the news and they were talking about the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. The topic was the little girl who was not allowed to be on camera singing because it was thought that she wasn't pretty enough. This little girl is seven years old.

Here she is:

Here is her replacement:

They're both very cute. It makes no sense that this is already starting. Females are judged at such an early age. It really made me sad to think of how that little girl must have felt. To make matters worse, she was told a few minutes before she was suppose to go on. How disgusting is that? And people wonder why young girls have so many self-esteem issues.

I was in the beauty parlor the other day and as I was about to sit under the dryer when an older woman touched my cheek and said, "You have such a pretty face, baby." I politely said thank you and sat down. I was bothered the entire time I was under that hot ass dryer. Why do people not know that statement is nowhere near being a compliment? If I was smaller would I just be pretty? Sure I would.

Who decided smaller was prettier? Who says that a little girl with a chubby face and missing teeth isn't beautiful?

How did we get here? Do we not care about our children's feelings anymore? I've seen this topic discussed on a few different shows and, for the most part, people don't seem to think it's a big deal. What about the little girl who thought she was going to be a part of the ceremony? I can only imagine what she's going through, but not many people seem to care.

For the most part i'm a pretty confident person, but now and then self esteem issues creep up on me. There was a time when I wouldn't wear bright colors because I thought they would make me look bigger. I still don't wear sleeveless shirts because I think my arms are too big. Don't get it twisted, I love myself. What people think doesn't really bother me, but there are times when it makes me sad that most people would never think i'm beautiful because I have a few extra pounds on my body. How could it not? I'm a human being with feelings.

I know one thing, I don't want to be compared to Monique. People have told me I look like her because she's the only plus size woman they can think of. I don't look anything like her. She pisses me off. She prides herself on being this champion for what she calls Phat girls. I think she's a bit of a buffoon. The Parkers disgusted me because she was running after some man and making a fool of herself. Would she have been chasing him that way if she wasn't full figured? I'm tired of watching her stuffing food in her face and talking about how big gals needs to eat. I don't think that's cute at all. That's not the role model I want for little girls, or even women, struggling with weight issues. I know she's a comediane, but you can be funny without being clownish. That's just my opinion. Monique does not represent me, even though she thinks she does.

Sometimes when you're "plus size" your weight is more of a concern for other people than it is for you. Some people think you can't be happy or feel good about yourself. They don't think you can be stylish either. I think a lot of my big sisters believe the latter. I have walked down the street and seen women who I know have given up on themselves. It's all in the way they walk, talk, and dress. I want to grab them and tell them to pull themselves together. We can look just as cute as the next chick.

I remember going on vacation and when I put my bathing suit on one of the people I was with said, and I quote, "It doesn't even look bad." I had to stop my hand from smacking the hell out of them. What the hell did they expect? I laughed it off and chalked it up to ignorance. Some smaller people just think they're the greatest thing in the world and a big chick could never look good in a bathing suit. Whatever!

How boring would life be if we all looked alike? I actually lost some weight at one time, but I put it back on. I'm a little disappointed, but i'll survive. Plus, the thing is, I don't want to be a size 6. I don't mind shopping at Lane Bryant. I'd like to have a flatter stomach, but I love me. I don't feel the need to apologize or explain who I am. I'm me and if my weight bothers you, then leave me the hell alone.

Attention People:

Don't tell me I have a pretty face, it's not a compliment.
All plus size women don't sit around crying about their weight.
I am fabulous!
I have more than enough haters to deal with, please don't add to the list.
Get your own ish, why you riding mine?

To all the big, brilliant, bodacious, blatantly beautiful, babes out there, hold your head up sweetie. You got it going on and don't let anybody tell you any different. "You are beautiful no matter what they say. Words can't bring you down." Be you girl, you're just as marvelous as the next chick.


Yvette said...

I love you so much this is one of the best I think. Did you see Monique got her stomach stappled?. But she always claimed to love her size, and she called women my size skinny bitches.I know you and I think I have a pretty good idea of how confident you are. I think Monique is somewhat hypocritical(spelled that wrong). Although they said the doctors said her health was in danger. F the lady at the parlor.

Strongblkwmn said...

I saw a picture of Monique. I wonder what she will have to say when the weight starts falling off. Is she going to call herself a skinny bitch? I guess if her health was in danger she had to do what she had to do. I didn't like the whole skinny bitch thing anymore than I like people making fun of fat people.

Thanks for the comment. I know you always read my blog and I appreciate it.

Pearl said...

Hey Tam, I took a few minutes to review your blog. Love this story. You hit it right on the head. You are a very expressive writer. Love it. Keep up the good work.

Strongblkwmn said...

Thanks Pearl.

Lamika said...

I agree with Auntie E. This is my favorite entry. Came right from the heart. This is awesome. All women are beautiful.

The Fitness Diva said...

This is a really great post. Well put and really brings home the point.
I'd like to guest post it on my blog with your byline and the link to your blog. Let me know if that's cool with you.

I agree with you about Monique. I am not such a fan of what she's doing lately, and I can't stand to watch The Parkers either! Ohhhhh the buffoonery!!!
Why can't we have shows where we're not acting like clowns, or either slinging drugs, shakin' our asses, gang bangin' or "livin' hood" all the time? I'm sick of it...but that's a whooolle other topic!

We all have our little flaws that we try to hide. No one is perfect.
And even when you damn near are, or appear to be, people will find something wrong with you anyway.

I though a lot about that little Chinese girl that wasn't allowed to participate in the ceremony because she was deemed "not cute enough".
That is going to follow her and affect her for the rest of her life. It will also be something that someone being mean can just pull out of their pocket to attack her self esteem with if they choose.
How f'd up is that?
What I'm wondering how they're going to handle the closing ceremonies? If they know what's right, they'll let the girl sing AND be seen. I can't believe they committed such cruelness on the world stage. Okay... maybe not!

Strongblkwmn said...

I would absolutely love it if you put my post on your blog. I think yours is great and it would be a total privilege. I was getting discouraged, but going to your site and taking your advice has helped me keep it going.

The Fitness Diva said...

I'll post it after tomorrow. I need to let the two I posted today sit for a minute so that people read 'em.
You should hopefully get some of my traffic to your blog from it. Ya never know...

No problem on posting it. It's a great post and should be seen!

The Fitness Diva said...

Post is up!

Who Decides What is Beautiful?

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Anonymous said...

Thanks.. Great words and in the box with tammys thoughs ... right on..