Friday, December 5, 2008

What are you afraid of?

"What are you afraid of? "Don't you know what you're made of?" - Mary Mary

I have to ask myself these questions from time to time. There are always what ifs crawling around in my head and forcing me to have a pessimistic outlook on just about everything. I have this guard up because I don't want to be disappointed. I figure if I assume things won't work out I won't be disappointed when they don't. I have tried really hard not to think this way, but it seems to be part of my make up.

My book is done and i'm in the editing stage. I really love what I have read and I know i'm a good writer, but there's still that doubt in the back of my head. I'm willing to do what has to be done to publish my work, but i'm very cautious of getting to excited.

I know this way of thinking does nothing but block my blessings and send negative vibes into the universe, but it's not easy to end a way of thinking that has been in your head for 40 years. The fear of the let down is holding me back. I'm not one to throw caution to the wind. Caution is my friend, it protects me.

Does this mean I don't have any faith? People always say, "Let go and let God," and I know if I put things in his hands they will work out the way they should, but why is it so hard? I want to succeed and not let my old friend caution keep me from achieving my goals. Part of my dream has been accomplished; I have written a book. The other half of the dream is sharing my gift with the world.

In a way, I guess I share my gift by blogging. This was a big step for me. It's not easy to share a piece of yourself with people you do not know. Starting this blog has helped me to stop holding back when it comes to letting people see the things I write. There's no way I can continue to be that way if I want to publish a novel. I need readers, the more the better.

My blog friend SLC, whose opinion and wisdom I really admire quoted a scripture for me that I carry in my purse and pinned to my cubicle at work:

A word from Romans, We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us - they help us learn to endure. (Romans 5:3NLT)

I look at this scripture from time to time and am realizing that instead of doubting and being pessimistic I need to realize that no matter what obstacles I may go through if I stay strong and keep moving forward I will appreciate the victory when it comes and it will be even sweeter because I know it was worth whatever I had to endure to get it.

3 comments:

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Remove the word pessimistic from your vocabulary and you'll begin to feel better. Our words & thoughts will soon become our actions if they take up residence in our minds. Believe it and you will receive it in GOD's time, not ours!

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hello there!

I tell the women in church:

"If you LOVE God so deeply and if you RESPECT God so highly then you would believe what He has said about you." They are usually so quiet when they think about that.

How can we CLAIM to be so sold-out for God if we won't believe what He tells us about our capacity and about our destiny?

When I was 5, my dad took my training wheels off of my bike. He said: "I will start running next to you for a little bit but when I stop running next to you, I want you to just keep on peddling as fast as you can, okay?"

I did it....and I was flying on my bike!! *LOL*

I believed my Daddy when he told me I could ride that bike without him holding me up. So I kept on peddling even when I could not see or feel him running next to me.

I encourage those who KNOW God to believe what He says about what is possible in your life.

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa