Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Solo Cinema

I have a girlfriend who goes to the movies by herself all the time. That was something I thought I could never do. She would go as early as she could and see two, sometimes three movies. I wasn't sure if I thought she was brave or if I felt sorry for her. She didn't really care what anyone thought anyway, so it didn't really matter.

My husband and I have this thing about going to the movies. It's something we like to do together. We rarely, if ever, go to the movies with other people. A friend of his works at a movie theater and when we go we get to see as many movies as we want. He gives us the schedule and we walk in and out of theaters until we're ready to leave.

Some time last year there was a movie I wanted to see that my husband wasn't interested in. I asked my co-worker if she wanted to go and she had something to do. When she suggested I go by myself I looked at her like she was crazy. She even laughed because she's never gone alone.

I found myself thinking about her suggestion for a while. Looking back, I can't believe I put so much thought into something as simple as seeing a movie. It took me about a week, but I eventually bit the bullet and went alone. It was a big deal and I felt nervous the entire bus ride to the theater. When I got there, I wondered if the person who took my ticket, the people I passed in the lobby, or the people at the concession stand thought I was a loser.

I went into the theater and, to my surprise, it was filled with women, and a few men, who were there alone like me. I get off of work at 3:30, which is pretty early, so it wasn't a large crowd. I immediately relaxed. The movie was great and it was nice to have that time to myself. I understood why my friend went alone so much.

I've gone alone a few more times. I'm the type of person who enjoys spending time with myself so it's great for me. Going to the movies alone is very relaxing. I can't believe I stressed myself out over it.

The same friend who goes to the movies alone has also traveled to Aruba and Jamaica by herself. I don't think I could ever do that. She's awesome.


The Fitness Diva said...

congrats on taking that step! Hanging with yourself can be awesome!
I've done it always. I started back when I was 20, and got tired of having to wait around for people, or get people to go where I wanted and do what i wanted to do. Then I realized, Hey....I can still just go! By myself! I went to a club alone one night and had the best time. That did it for me. I've been going where I want with or without people ever since.

Been to Spain, Italy and Switzerland alone (though I had friends to meet up with in Italy). Traveling and doing things solo really makes you grow as a person, and yes, it makes you brave!
I highly recommend it!

I went to see Purple Rain alone. Remember that movie? LOL! And just like you noticed, I wasn't the only solo person in the theatre. Once you get out and start doing things by yourself, you become part of a whole new club, really. The vagabonds... folks that do what they want, don't need company unless they want it, and don't care what anybody says about any of it.

It does take time for some to develop all that, though! ;)

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Believe it and achieve it. You can do all things in Christ. I went on a cruise by myself and had a blast. Put that on your life list.

I also do the movie thing, lunch thing and concert thing all by myself. Baby steps will eventually lead to confidence! This summer I plan to do museums...

Love, peace and blessings.

Keith said...

I often go to the movies by myself if it's something I really want to see that my wife or daughter aren't
interested in. (Case in Point-"Nototrious")

SLC said...

Hey Sis.
Before I was married I loved going to the movies alone. Now it's always six of us and I generally go to sleep, so this year I'm going to treat myself to a couple of matinées. Thanks for unlocking my cage.


Yvette said...

I can relate to this. I'm scared to go the movies and a lot of places by myself. I think Ii might give it a try. I'm happy you're blogging again, I missed your thoughts if nobody else did. Love you much.

Strongblkwmn said...

Fitness Diva - Going to Spain, Italy and Switzerland alone is so awesome! I'm definitely glad to be part of the vagabonds.

Butterfly - I've done lunch alone once. My family planned my entire day for me when I turned 40. It was cool. I'm not sure i'm ready to do a concert, maybe one day.

Keith - Did you see Notorious? I heard it was really good. I'm going to see the Wrestler and Slumdog Millionaire.

SLC - Go for it! Don't fall asleep. LOL!

Yvette - Once you go the first time, it's easy. Thanks for all of your support.

Lamika said...

You and your husband rarely go with other people... what about your kids?????

I don't know why you stressed out about going to the movies alone. People suck anyway (especially Daddy), so it's better, lol. Just kidding. I think this says a lot about how much we are taught to rely on other people for enjoyment. The more we can find joy alone, the better we will be in our relationships. Now all you have to that breakfast restaurant alone... you know, the one I gave you the gift certificates for that you conveniently have not used yet...

Love you. I like this topic.

Strongblkwmn said...

My dear daughter, you know that you and your brother are far too busy to go to the movies with your parents like you use to.

Kofi Bofah said...

There is nothing wrong with the solo mission.

Even to the nightclub.

MsKnowitAll said...

Hey Strong Black Woman,

I am a loner and I go solo to the cinema A LOT. It's a joy.

When watching a comedy, I laugh as loud as I wanna.

I get to eat all of my treats and not share...

But also personally inspires me, especially when I watch a thinking flick. Makes me wanna go home and write or sing or just beam...