Wednesday, September 16, 2009
I'm working on my patience. I really am. The amount of praying i've done on this issue is crazy. I know I have a quick temper and my tolerance for bullshit is very low. In my opinion the world would be a much better place if people just kept it a little more real. Be who you are. Who could it hurt?
My husband and I went upstate to visit friends and we had an awesome time. I was able to leave all the crap behind and let my hair down. It was just what I needed. Lately i've become so sick of my job that I have to fight to keep it from affecting other areas of my life. I do my best to leave all the mess behind when I leave at 3:30 every weekday but it's becoming harder and harder.
We were there from Thursday to Sunday and I felt great when I got home. I had Monday off and I was still feeling good. Monday night rolled around and I felt myself becoming depressed. Tuesday morning rolled around and I could barely get my head up off the pillow. I said a prayer, got it together, and made my way out the door.
I was determined not to let anything get to me and it was working. I let a smile be my umbrella and motored through the work day. The hour of 3:30 p.m. rolled around before I knew it and I left as fast as I could. I went home, spent some time with my son and cleared my head. I went to bed with a smile and woke up the same way.
I had a great attitude when I got to work today. "Mind over matter" was the motto for the day and it was working. I start at 7:30 and I don't really see anyone until around 9:00. I was pissed off by ten. The level of crap they come up with is so ridiculous that I can't put it into words. I won't even go into what the problem of the day was. It's just not worth being repeated by an adult.
I have to take it back to patience. The head of my department called the staff in one by one to talk about some real bullshit. I already said how low my tolerance is so imagine how I was feeling. I smiled on the outside but I was fuming! I told him how I felt and left when I couldn't take it anymore. A co-worker and I vented, I emailed a friend who always seems to have the words that calm me down, and kept it moving. Her response was something I already knew but I guess I needed to hear it.
That's just a decoy, that's to add insult to injury…you are already overwhelmed about personal stuff so the enemy knows that the job is a sore thumb so while he already has your attention he might as well continue to knock a GREAT WOMAN DOWN FOR THE COUNT….one, two, three…..and so on and so forth until you do explode….you already know what you will and won't do, so why should you even dwell on stupid stuff???? Stupid is as stupid does…let stuff roll off your back, why make it personal…like you really care?????? Just simply realize there's always another way to do what I want to do and do it w/a smile…..oh slap happy well…that's what they want now my question and what are you going to do????? Keep it moving, don't give in to the drama you are so much better than that, if they can't piss you off one way they come back w/another way…please they can't find anything else to pick at so why not that…..just shake your head, they don't have nothing better to do….BLOCK AND FOCUS…