Missing Lia

I've been on "vacation" with my husband for almost a week. I say, "vacation" because we didn't really go anywhere or do much of anything. I think this time would be better served if I called it relaxation instead of vacation. We visited our son's Godmother in Virginia and my second mother (traditionally called mother-in-law) in South Carolina. There hasn't been much excitement, just a lot of taking it easy.

There's nothing wrong with kicking back with family and enjoying life. I'm just in the mood for clear water, fun times, and a little escape. I'm ready to say goodbye to the United States for a while and take in a new culture and get away for real. I haven't REALLY been away in a couple years and it's time. I need it. Life has been getting to me and I need a good week of not having to think about this or that. This girl is in need of times that require letting her hair down.

The one thing that keeps it all together for me is being a grandmother. I enjoy that role more than words can describe. The whole time i've been away, i've been wondering what my granddaugher is doing and hoping that I didn't miss her doing something new. It's so hard to leave her. She's wonderful!

When i'm holding her I don't think of clear water or letting my hair down. All I can think of is looking into her eyes and seeing her smile. Her laugh turns me into a pile of mush. It's the best sound in the world. She's four months now and watching her experience the world is such a joy. Every little thing is fantastic to her. The way her eyes widen when she sees bright colors or her focus when she is trying to hold on to something is so refreshing. What a wonderful world it would be if we held on to that our entire lives.

My heart smiles when I think of litle Lia. She is the bright spot in my world. Being her grandmother has changed my life and I am so grateful she is here. I was talking with a friend a while ago and she said something about not wanting her sons to be fathers because she knew they weren't ready and she's not ready to be a grandma. I told her I wasn't crazy about the idea of my 19 year old son becoming a dad but now that his is, and Lia is in our lives, I couldn't imagine it being any other way. I don't even remember what it was like when she wasn't with us.

So, we're her in South Carolina for one more day. I'm a little bored and haven't really been out of the house much. It doesn't seem to bother anyone else. They can sleep most of the day and watch movies when they wake. I'd like to be doing things. We've played a few games of spades and sat around laughing and joking around and that was great. I'd still love to do something else, even though it's hot at hell outside.

I think i'm ready to go home. It's been real, but i'm missing Lia...