Sunday, April 26, 2009
I cannot stand when someone in my house cooks eggs and puts the shells back in the carton. This morning I was fixing breakfast and pulled one out of the refrigerator that contained two eggs and ten egg carcasses. Even though we had two more cartons of eggs in the fridge, I was still pissed off. What is the purpose of leaving the shells in the carton?
Looking at the eggshells made me think. It seems like everything makes me think lately. I'm at a point in my life where I don't take anything at face value. Even eggshells in a carton have meaning. I stood at the counter looking at the shells and starting thinking about how they applied to my life.
There was a time when I held everything in. Things would bother me, but I would either internalize them or speak on them in an incomplete manner, like eggshells in a carton. The issue would just lay there until eventually i'd decide to face the situation and get rid of it. I was like that for a long time.
My issues stayed closed up in my carton of emotions. The thing is, they can't stay like that forever. It took me a long time to realize that. I was so busy worrying about hurting people's feelings that I didn't stop to think about all the empty shells I was leaving in my carton. There were also times when I just didn't want to deal. The problem is, when you don't get things off your chest they build up and become worse.
I still have my moments, but i've really been trying to deal with things that bother me better than I have in the past. When I was approaching 40, I went into this phase where I didn't give a damn what anyone thought. I went a little too far. As i'm learning more about the after 40 me i've learned to reign it in without holding on to things that I shouldn't. I feel much better.
My friends said they felt different when they reached 40 but I wasn't sure if I would be affected. Not only was I affected, i'm infected. The changes are flowing through my blood. I'm a new and improved me and I like it. I've realized that I will always be a work in progress. Things are constantly changing and I am really enjoying life.
I'm so open that eggshells in a carton lead to thoughts about life...