Sunday, April 26, 2009


I cannot stand when someone in my house cooks eggs and puts the shells back in the carton. This morning I was fixing breakfast and pulled one out of the refrigerator that contained two eggs and ten egg carcasses. Even though we had two more cartons of eggs in the fridge, I was still pissed off. What is the purpose of leaving the shells in the carton?

Looking at the eggshells made me think. It seems like everything makes me think lately. I'm at a point in my life where I don't take anything at face value. Even eggshells in a carton have meaning. I stood at the counter looking at the shells and starting thinking about how they applied to my life.

There was a time when I held everything in. Things would bother me, but I would either internalize them or speak on them in an incomplete manner, like eggshells in a carton. The issue would just lay there until eventually i'd decide to face the situation and get rid of it. I was like that for a long time.

My issues stayed closed up in my carton of emotions. The thing is, they can't stay like that forever. It took me a long time to realize that. I was so busy worrying about hurting people's feelings that I didn't stop to think about all the empty shells I was leaving in my carton. There were also times when I just didn't want to deal. The problem is, when you don't get things off your chest they build up and become worse.

I still have my moments, but i've really been trying to deal with things that bother me better than I have in the past. When I was approaching 40, I went into this phase where I didn't give a damn what anyone thought. I went a little too far. As i'm learning more about the after 40 me i've learned to reign it in without holding on to things that I shouldn't. I feel much better.

My friends said they felt different when they reached 40 but I wasn't sure if I would be affected. Not only was I affected, i'm infected. The changes are flowing through my blood. I'm a new and improved me and I like it. I've realized that I will always be a work in progress. Things are constantly changing and I am really enjoying life.

I'm so open that eggshells in a carton lead to thoughts about life...


CareyCarey said...


I love coming by your spot because you do not always say what you are doing right, you choose to say what you might need to change ...that's big.

I facilate a "class" in which I sometimes tell those in attendance that on this day, they are not allowed to say what they are doing right. This forces them to look at the real issues that they need to change. Anybody can talk about the "good" stuff, but few wish to go deeper, it's uncomforatable.

I have a good friend that is just like you. She was in essence one of the eggs in the shell with all the mess of the cracked eggs around her. Like you, she didn't want to hurt others feelings by not being there for them or saying something that would make them mad at her, even if it was at the expense of her own stuffed feelings or emotions.

I asked her what she was really affraid of. She didn't quite understand the question. See, it wasn't really about hurting their feelings, it's about protecting our own. As long as we allow others to drag us into mess by not sharing how we really feel about a situation, they will continue to do as they've always done and they remain our friends. We didn't upset them but "WE" are left with the baggage. For the most part, we all want to be liked, but at what cost? Sure, most will say they don't care what others think about them but that is a big lie. Unconsciously they are lying to themselves. Of course there's a time,place and manner in which one should voice their opinion/complaint but growth comes from the understanding of what thoughts,feelings and emotions are behind why we are afraid to stand on "right".

Keep thinking my friend. The answers are within us. You're doing good.

Self honesty is the key. Most never get there. They might find that they can no longer project their problems onto someone else, as if it's all the other persons fault. It's deep but it's real.

Soooooo, my suggestion would be that you calmly tell those that left those nasty eggs in the carton to never do that again because you do not like it.

If the issue changes to "yeah butts" don't go there. Simply bring it back to the nasty eggs.

Don't let your emotions rule you ...that's the key, finding out what real emotions are in play in everything we do.

Okay, that's it ...I'll be sending my bill in the mail *lol*

SLC said...

Love this post sis.
Actually, I need this post. I'm still a little too careful with some people; sometimes to their detriment.
Thanks for the lesson.
See ya on FB.

Strongblkwmn said...

Carey - I agree with so much of your comment that I can't really pinpoint anything. I will say that asking yourself what you're afraid of is something that I have found to be extremely important. I'm learning how to feel the fear, and go for it anyway.

SLC - Glad you liked the post. I couldn't believe that I got so much feeling from some broken shells in a carton.

SLC said...

I'm not surprised you got so much from that sis. You're the good kind of deep. Just the words' "brokens shells in a carton" bring a lot of people to mind.

See ya on FB

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

I'm sorry, I'm one of those people but since I live alone, there is no one to tell me it bothers them (smile) Now I will stop.

I'm so very happy that you are enjoying this life, it's the only one you get!

Love, live, laugh and write (LOL)
free spirit butterfly

Lamika said...

Ratique and Daddy are the ones leaving the STUPID eggshells in the carton. I HATE THAT! Ahhhhhhhh!