Thursday, August 13, 2009

Dancing In The Rain


“Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
Someone emailed this quote to me and it really hit home. It hasn’t been easy for me to throw caution to the wind. I’ve lived my life being concerned about others opinions and most of all making sure that my family and I were secure. Security is very important to me. Tammy is not the one to risk losing a roof over her head or make her family struggle in any way. On one hand that is a good thing but on another it has held me back.

The need for security has kept me on a job that I cannot stand. I have excellent benefits that I really do not want to give up. My union is great. My son attended a great summer camp free of charge for four years and was able to work in the hospital where I am employed for the summer. I love what my union provides. We have some of the best benefits in the state. Because I didn’t dance in the rain I’ve been working on a job I really do not like for 14 years.

I’m not complaining. I’ve lived a really nice life. The thing is, as I look back I realize that I could have taken more chances and put myself out there. My book would probably be on the shelves already. I don’t like shoulda, woulda, couldas so I won’t go there. The life I have lived is the life I lived. I can’t go back. What I can do is make sure I get wet a little more. I’ve always loved the rain so why not take the opportunity to dance around in it? I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching and have learned a lot about myself. I’ve also learned that you never have everything figured out. Whenever you think you know it all you’re slipping.

I can’t always play it safe. There will always be a storm. It’s what life is about. No one has a perfect existence. There would be no way to learn if life was not full of mistakes. I’m learning from the errors I made because I was scared of or trying to prevent the storm. All I did was stress myself out with worry, which is the misuse of imagination.

I want so much out of life. At the age of 41 I finally realize that I have to take a leap of faith once in a while. It's okay to start over if things don't work out. My children are grown now. They have lives of their own. I feel that I have done my job in that area. They are secure. I feel like I can breathe the air of chance.

I have a writer's spirit. I don't always express myself the way I should vocally, but put a pen in my hand or point me to a keyboard and it's on. It's time for me to get over that. I have a book to sell. If I don't get my feet wet and dance in that rain there is no way i'll be able to achieve the success I desire.

I've danced a time or two, but not as often as I would have liked. When I saw that quote it immediately spoke to me. How can I play it so safe so often? I feel like waiting for the storm to pass has blocked many a blessing I could have received. I'm sure they were there for the taking. All I had to do was a little rain dance. I have to trust myself more, have faith in myself more, and stop being so cautious and worried about failing. Failures happen. It's all about how you recover. Nine times out of ten you'll be better for it and come out stronger.

I'm ready to dance.

"Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible. "
~ Cadet Maxim

5 comments:

MOMSWEB said...

Loooove this!

Strongblkwmn said...

Momsweb - Thank you and thanks for visiting my blog.

Solomon said...

I've got my dancing shoes on, why don't you put yours on Tammy and we can dance together.

Great post!

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

I hear ya, sis. I've been there and know that it just takes the first step. Whatever it takes to move forward takes twice the effort, but you'll reap twice the reward :-). You can do it!

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Don't remember where I heard it, but someone once said, "Dance like nobody's watching" I know for a fact that I can't dance. Yes, I'm black w/no rhythm, but I dance anyway! I think it's a 40s thing! (smile)

Love ya
Free Spirit!