Thursday, September 18, 2008

No More Junk!

"Giving up people, places and things that we know that we need to let go-opens up the door to the people, places and things that we truly want."-Ruby Fleurcius

This is such a true statement.

At the same time, just because we let go of people, places, and things that doesn't mean we can't learn for them. We've all had experiences or met people that weren't good for us, but ended up with some kind of knowledge that helped us in our lives. Life is a constant spiral of learning and change.

I talk a lot about how different my attitude and outlook on life has been since I turned 40. I'm still a work in progress, but i'm getting better. I feel a change in myself almost every day. I'm trying to improve my life and i'm making changes, bit by bit. I learn something new about myself all the time.

I was talking to a friend yesterday and she said her sister was like a life virus. Trouble constantly follows her and she brings her drama into my friends world. She asked me if it was wrong for her to want to cut off communication with her flesh and blood. We don't get to pick our relatives, they're given to us. At the same time, it's important to do what is right for your life.

Sometimes I hate when people ask my advice on these kinds of situations. It's hard to tell someone not to associate with their sister, even when I think it's the best decision that can be made. I love my sisters and could not imagine not having them in my life. The only thing I could say to my friend was do what is right for you. Is cutting off someone you've grown up with and share a bloodline with ever the right decision? Aren't we suppose to be there for our family? It's a catch 22.

I'm sure we all have family members that we have issues with. We still love them, but our lives would be much better if we didn't have to deal with them. What do we do? Do we disown them, or do we put up with them because we have the same bloodline? It's rough. Sometimes the best thing to do is love someone from a distance, but that's easier said than done.

It's so important to rid our lives of negative energy. That's something that can really bring you down. It has a bigger effect than we may realize. I have gotten rid of a few people who always think negatively and put other people down and i've noticed that it has made a difference in my life. Like I always tell my children, misery loves company. People who don't have anything going on in their lives surely don't want others to succeed.

I've really noticed who was really behind me since i've come to the end of the novel I am writing. People I thought had my back have made backhanded comments or make faces when I talk about my excitement. I can tell they're not happy for me. Their words go one way, but their reactions go another. It's very interesting. My sister has always said it's not good to tell people too much because a lot of times they're wolves in sheep's clothing. I didn't want to, but I finally had to admit that she's right. You try to see the best in people, but sometimes the worst is all there is.

I read something that I think about from time to time and try to apply to my life. If you have trash in the tank of your car, it inhibits the cars performance. The car will still run, but the more junk it accumulates, the more gas it will use and the more stress it will place on the engine. This is also true in life. The more junk we have in our lives, the more stressed out we will become.

Get rid of the junk in your tank!


Stacye said...

Let me say this about family. There are those who will be there in the good times and in the bad times. There will be those who will come around only when they need you and then there will be others that will always be around to help you up when you fall down, and believe me baby we all fall down at least once or twice, and when you cry and when you're happy. I once read that "family is like chocolate sweet with a fews nuts!" Sometimes separation is a must for those negative family members. I don't want that around me and it's okay to feel the same. Hey, I care about my family members and I love them, but hey I love me MORE! The junk in the trunk theory is sooooooooooo true. Great post!

Keith said...

I feel you but when it comes to family, we are bound to them by blood so we can't exactly discard them, but we don't have to let their negative energy drain us either. Lucky for me..most of the negative energy around me is from outside of my family, still negative is negative regardless of where it originates and it's painful and draining...I am in the process of dumping some former friends and associates who have been bringing me down..This post was so on time because it speaks of my situation.

Strongblkwmn said...

I consider myself to be very blessed when it comes to family. I wish it was like that for everyone.

@ Stacye I agree with you when you say you love you more. You have to feel that way to make it in life.

@ Keith I know it's hard to part with friends but, like Stacye said, you have to love you. Doing what's best for you is what's important.

Yvette said...

I love you to. I could not imagine life without my big sisters.

Somebodies Friend said...

My family used to be very negative towards me but they have definately changed their tune.

It is the realization that many of my associates are without a doubt "wolves in sheeps clothing", and I am doing something about it, they are no longer my friends. I am on the lookout for new, happy, positive, real friends, not the poser type that I seemed to attract before.

RV said...

If you aren't pro-life then you are PRO-DEATH! Wake up America and stop killing our future! And for those of you who vote for might as well send America to HELL because that is where we will end up if that man is elected!