Monday, September 15, 2008

Not who I thought

Today I found out that someone I really respected is not who I thought they were. I found out things about them that really shocked me. I thought this person was of really high character and it turns out that's not exactly the case. There are things that this person has done within their relationship that I couldn't believe.

I've been thinking about this. Should my opinion change because of something this person did that really has nothing to do with me? I mean, I have to admit, the level of respect I have for this person has gone down, but should I judge? Are they the same person? It's kind of confusing.

I see this person totally different and it's kind of awkward. The things that I know are so contradictory to who I thought they were that i'm totally taken aback. I'm not one to judge other people's actions, but I can't help but feel that i've been lied to by this person. We've had several conversations that led me to believe this person had certain standards and even though they haven't done anything to me I still feel a certain way.

Should someone's personal issues affect the relationship you have with them? I love this person to death, but i'm not sure how I will act the next time we come in contact. It's hard for me to hide my feelings and this person knows me. They will know that something is wrong. I don't love them any less, but I do see them differently.

Am I wrong?


The Fitness Diva said...

That's a hard one.

You come to face the hard fact that someone you thought you knew has a side that you had no clue even existed in them.

Well, people are complex. And also, they might have evolved into this new person over time. Life changes you, I'm sure you know that!
Because of his/her experiences, and things that have gone down that they maybe didn't tell even you, something in them changed.
The lying to you part.... well, that just breaks down the trust, doesn't it? I'd feel the same if a good friend lied to me.
But you know... you have to decide just how valuable this person's friendship is to you, and decide whether or not this new info weighs heavier than that friendship.

I'd just stay friends with them at a distance for awhile until I could wrap my entire head around it.
Try not to judge to quickly...try to understand first.

They always say, "don't throw out the baby with the bathwater"

That kind of fits right in here.

BTW, I like the new look of your blog! Much better! ;)

Strongblkwmn said...

I still really like this person. I just see them in a different light. I do have to wrap my head around a few things, like you said. It's just crazy to find out you kind of had someone on a high horse they didn't deserve.

I'm learning about this whole blog thing, slowly but surely. Glad you like the new look.

Don said...

I don't think you are wrong. We are all entitled to our own opinions and whatnot. So I believe that, whether positive or negative, opinions will be formed and judgements will be made. It's not like you can fake it anyways, you know. So, my thoughts, are as following:

Follow your heart in all matters.

I've been missing out on some damn good post. It takes me every two days to reach my blog roll, sorry. I enjoted both reads today.

Lamika said...

I agree with The Fitness Diva... "Try not to judge to quickly...try to understand first." Nobody's perfect.

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

I've learned late in life that our feelings are valid but most importantly, we can love people from a distance! I hope you find a balance. Peace & Blessings!

Anonymous said...

The only person that should judge anybody is God. Why do you care about what other people do in their relationships? So I guess you have a Heathcliff and Claire Huxtable realtionship going on, and you both are perfect? God has blessed you and you only.

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