Friday, December 11, 2009
I have to find that love again.
I remember when I first started blogging. It was so much fun for me. Everything I heard and saw was fodder for a possible post. I couldn't wait to get to my computer at work in the morning so I could get it started. I blogged every day and never had a problem coming up with topics.
Where has that love gone?
Things are so different now. I barely think about posting and when I do I have no idea what to post about. I'm disappointed. Is it writers block? Lost of interest? I check out some of my favorite blogs and find myself wishing I could come up with things to talk about like others do. I know i'm capable. What the hell is going on?
Have I lost that loving feeling?
I feel like i've deserted something that I worked so hard to get going. It's almost like losing a part of me. I don't like the feeling but I also don't know what to do about it. The blog is called "Tammy's Thoughts." What the hell am I thinking? Am I thinking at all?
Bring back that loving feeling.
At first I blamed it on my newfound Facebook obsession. I was spending more time there than anywhere else. I started updating status first thing in the morning and not going to my blog. I figured that was it. I also found another fun sight that my co-workers laugh about. I figured that was why I hadn't been blogging.
I thought about it and realized that I haven't been editing my book the way I should either. That is unacceptable. I'm slacking and that's not good. Maybe I just need a break........I can't take a break from editing. I have to get my book done. There's always been some sort of connection between my book and my blog.
I'll be back. I'm a writer and it's what I do. There are times when I think that i'm getting so close to having my book done that it's making me nervous. It's what i've wanted all my life but i'm not so sure that i'm ready. This is what I always to do myself. I've been trying to work on it.
Sometimes I feel like a confident woman with no confidence. It's crazy. As soon as I learn to stop being so cautious things will be great. I second guess way too much and I have absolutely no idea why. I guess i've gone through some things in my life that have taught me to expect disappointment.
I'll be back.
I started down a road of soul searching that really helped me learn a lot about myself. Somewhere along the way I got comfortable and stopped looking. I'm getting it back on track and i'm sure i'll be blogging on a constant basis real soon. I miss it.